S3 E11 A Sleepy Friday Night with Chapter 6 of Alices Adventures in Wonderland

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Good evening and welcome to the Comforting Voice podcast. I'm your host Shasta Ray, and I'm joined in the studio by Emmy the Minnie Macaw. She's already had a couple of snacks. She's already gone through her screaming noises, and she's sitting here chewing on her foot while I give her neck scratches. So hopefully we'll keep her pretty content and she'll just be a non-issue tonight. We can only hope. I think she's been a little bored. I gave her some new toys the other day, and I've been trying to engage with her in different ways, but yeah, I think she's been just a little bored. I think I'm gonna have to find something to keep her busy with. So she does love coming down here to the studio and hanging out with me and being part of the show for that reason. It's just something different for her to do and hang out and get some attention. Anyway, how are you? Are you ready for the weekend? I'm my head is still spinning. It really is. I can't believe how fast the week went by, how much I had to do, and I I didn't even get half of it done. I really didn't. But I feel good about the stuff that I did get done, and I think I'm gonna be sleeping pretty good tonight, quite actually. So, anyway, let's uh let's get you off to a great start to a really restful night's sleep. First, make sure that you've got everything you need right there so you don't have to go do it later or after you get settled. So get your bottle of water, your extra pillow, your teddy bear, you know, maybe you need an extra pair of socks, something like that. And figure out how to get comfortable. What are you gonna do tonight? You gonna sleep on your left side, your right side? Are you a back sleeper? That's really good for you, actually. And get comfortable. Squish your pillow into that shape that works best for you. Whatever you gotta do. We all have those little tiny micro rituals we do when we try to get comfortable, right? So that's kind of what I try to communicate with all that. All those little things that you do right before you fall asleep that makes the difference. Okay, when you're ready, do a really good productive stretch. Reach your muscles really good into your fingers and toes, arms, legs, all that, engage your muscles and wiggle your fingers and toes really quick before you release that stretch. That is one of the key elements to helping you doze off quickly. The other one is to follow that up with a really good, productive, deep breath, and you're gonna do that slowly. Inhale to about the count of four, hold it to about the count of four, exhale to about the count of six. Follow that pattern, adjust it to your needs, and do that twice. Okay? You can stretch twice, whatever, you know, and the beauty of it is there's no hard rules. So do what works for you. Try to give yourself that good stretch, a couple deep breaths of air, make sure that everything is settled before you start, and you're gonna be settled and waking up before you know it. It's a beautiful system. Take seconds. Okay. And then before you fall asleep, don't forget about the new website. I have been working on it. I hope to do something with it this weekend. I'm not sure what. I'm gonna add some content on there. And that website is very easy to remember. Comfortingvoice.com. That's it. Comfortingvoice.com. The contact form is there. You want to send some feedback, ideas, requests. Um, say hello, perhaps. There's a contact form there. There's also a little microphone there, so pretty much any device, if you've got a microphone, you can click that, you can record me a voice message, and there you go. Instant feedback, instant hello, instant requests at your fingertips, right on the website. I've got the Buy Me a Coffee, that's where you can get the digital gratitude journal. It has some extras thrown in. And then all of the links that I normally tell you about are right there in one spot. So I've got my coloring book Empire right there with links directly to the coloring books, and you can pick up some Thrive Gear and more right there at the Thrive Shop. Check it out, and by all means, hang around, listen to some episodes. It's a great place. And then I think I mentioned it on the last episode. There's a follow button up at the top right, I think on the screen, somewhere up on the menu. Anyway, if you click that follow button, it's gonna drop down with a whole bunch of links for all of the main podcast apps out there. If you're someone that's really not familiar with it, but you've heard of the names of some of them, like Spotify, Apple Podcasts. I can't remember what else. I even have the uh Amazon link for the podcast on Amazon Music or something. Anyway, all of the links are there. So if you are curious about downloading an app, there you go. Great way to do it. Alright, let's get going on tonight's episode. It is story night. Oh my gosh, we are reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. This is by Lewis Carroll, and tonight we are starting chapter six titled Pig and Pepper. For a minute or two she stood looking at the house and wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood. She considered him to be a footman because he was in livery, otherwise, judging by his face only she would have called him a fish, and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery with a round face and large eyes like a frog, and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen. The fish footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, saying in a solemn tone for the Duchess, an invitation from the queen to play croquet. The frog footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the words a little from the queen an invitation for the Duchess to play croquet. Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together. Alice laughed so much at this that she had to run back into the wood for fear of their hearing her, and when she next peeped out, the fish footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the door staring stupidly up into the sky. Alice went timidly up to the door and knocked. There's no sort of use in knocking, said the fish footman, and that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you are. Second, because they're making such a noise inside no one could possibly hear you. And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise going on within, a constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash as if a dish or kettle had been broken into pieces. Please, then, said Alice, how am I to get in? There might be some sense in your knocking, the footman went on without attending to her. If we had the door between us. For instance, if you were inside you might knock and I could let you out, you know. He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. But perhaps he can't help it, she said to herself. His eyes are so very nearly at the top of his head, but at any rate he might answer questions. How am I to get in? she repeated aloud. I shall sit here, the footman remarked, till tomorrow. At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came skimming out straight at the footman's head. It just grazed his nose and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him. Or the next day, maybe. The footman continued the same tone, exactly as if nothing had happened. How am I to get in? asked Alice again in a louder tone. Are you to get in at all? said the footman. That's the first question, you know. It was no doubt, only Alice did not like to be told so. It's really dreadful, she muttered to herself. The way all the creatures argue, it's enough to drive one crazy. The footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his mark, with variations. I shall sit here, he said, on and off for days and days. But what am I to do? asked Alice. Anything you like, said the footman, and he began whistling. There's no use in talking to him, said Alice desperately. He's perfectly idiotic. And she opened the door and went in. The door led right into a large kitchen which was full of smoke from one end to the other. The Duchess was sitting on a three legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby. The cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup. There's certainly too much pepper in that soup, Alice said to herself as well as she could for sneezing. There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally, and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze were the cook and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear. Please, would you tell me? said Alice a little timidly, for she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, why your cat grins like that? It's a Cheshire cat, said the Duchess, and that's why pig She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite jumped. But she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby and not to her, so she took courage and went on again. I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned. In fact, I didn't know that cats could grin. They all can, said the Duchess, and most of 'em do. I don't know any that do, said Alice very politely, feeling quite pleased to have gotten into a conversation. You don't know much, said the Duchess, and that's a fact. Alice did not like the tone of this remark, and thought it would be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby. The fire irons came first, then followed a shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when they hit her, and the baby was howling so much already that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. Oh please mind what you're doing, cried Alice, jumping up and down in an agony of terror. Oh, there goes his precious nose, as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off. If everybody minded their own business, the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, the world would go round a deal faster than it does. Which would not be an advantage, said Alice, who felt very glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. Just think of what work it would make with the day and night. You see the earth takes twenty four hours to turn on its axis. Talking of axes, said the Duchess, chop off her head. Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook to see if she meant to take the hint. But the cook was busily stirring the soup and seemed not to be listening, so she went on again. Twenty four hours, I think, or is it twelve? I Oh don't bother me, said the Duchess. I never could abide figures. And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did go, but giving it a violent shake at the end of every line. Speak roughly to your little boy, and beat him when he sneezes. He only does it to annoy because he knows it teases. And then there was a chorus in which the cook and baby joined. Wow, wow wow. While the Duchess sang a second verse of the song, she kept tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so that Alice could hardly hear the words. I speak severely to my boy I beat him when he sneezes, for he can thoroughly enjoy the pepper when he pleases. Oh wow wow wow here, you may nurse it a bit if you like, the Duchess said to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. I must go and get ready to play croquet with the queen. And she hurried out of the room. The cook threw a frying pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her. Alice caught the baby with some difficulty as it was a strange shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions. Just like a starfish, thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting like a steam engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, so that altogether for the first minute or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it. As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, which was to twist it up in sort of a knot, and then keep tight hold of its right ear and left foot so as to prevent it from undoing itself, she carried it out into the open air. If I don't take this child away with me, thought Alice, they're sure to kill it in a day or two. Wouldn't it be murder to leave it behind? She said the last words out loud, and the little thing grunted in reply. It had left off sneezing by this time. Don't grunt, said Alice. That's not at all a proper way of expressing yourself. The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had a very turned up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose. Also, its eyes were getting extremely small for a baby. Altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at all. But perhaps it was only sobbing, she thought, and looked into its eyes again to see if there were any tears. No, there were no tears. If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear, said Alice seriously, I'll have nothing more to do with you. The poor little thing sobbed again, or grunted, it was impossible to say which, and they went on for some while in silence. Alice was just beginning to think to herself now what am I going to do with this creature when I get home? It grunted again so violently that she looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could be no mistake about it. It was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it any further. So she set the little creature down and felt quite relieved to see it trot away quietly into the wood. If it had grown up, she said to herself, it would have made a dreadfully ugly child, but it makes a rather handsome pig, I think, and she began thinking over the other children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying to herself if one only knew the right way to change em, when she was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire on a bough of a tree a few yards off. The cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good natured, she thought. Still it had very long claws and a great many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect. Cheshire Puss, she began rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name. However, it grinned a little wider. Come, it's pleased so far, thought Alice, and she went on. Would you tell me please which way I ought to go from here? That depends a good deal on where you want to go, said the cat. I don't much care where, said Alice. Then it doesn't matter which way you go, said the cat. So long as I get somewhere, Alice added as an explanation. Oh, you're sure to do that, said the cat. If you only walk long enough, Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. What sort of people live about here? In that direction, the cat said, waving his right paw around, lives a hatter, and in that direction, waving the other paw, lives a march hare. Visit either you like, they're both mad. But I don't want to go among mad people, Alice remarked. Oh you can't help that, said the cat. We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad. How do you know I'm mad? said Alice. You must be, said the cat, or you wouldn't have come here. Alice didn't think that proved it at all, however she went on. And how do you know that you're mad? To begin with, said the cat. A dog's not mad, you grant that? I suppose so, said Alice. Well then, the cat went on. You see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased and wag my tail when I'm angry, therefore I'm mad. I call it purring, not growling, said Alice. Call it what you like, said the cat. Do you play croquet with the queen today? I should like to very much, said Alice, but I haven't been invited yet. You'll see me there, said the cat, and vanished. Alice was not much surprised at this. She was getting used to seeing strange things happening. While she was looking at the place where it had been, it suddenly reappeared again. By the by, what became of the baby? said the cat. I'd nearly forgotten to ask. It turned into a pig, Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back in a natural way. I thought it would, said the cat, and vanished again. Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked in the direction in which the March hare was said to live. I've seen hatters before, she said to herself. The march hare will much be the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad, at least not so mad as it was in March. As she said this, she looked up and there was the cat again, sitting on a branch of a tree. Did you say pig or fig? said the cat. I said pig, replied Alice, and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly. You make one quite giddy. All right, said the cat, and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. Well, I've often seen a cat without a grin, thought Alice, but a grin without a cat? It's the most curious thing I've ever saw in my life. She had not gone much further before she came in sight of the house of the March Hare, and she thought it must be the right house because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It was so large a house that she did not like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the left hand bit of mushroom and raised herself to about two feet high. Even then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself, Suppose it should be raving mad after all. I almost wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead. And that concludes chapter six of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, and I am getting anxious for next Friday because it looks like we might have a tea party coming up, and I've never read this book before, so I'm getting anxious to see what happens. Okay, that's all I got for you on this episode. I will catch you Tuesday for our regular ramble chat mishmash of goodness, and until then, sleep tight, good night, and bye bye.