S3 E15 Chapter 8 of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

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Good evening and welcome to the Comforting Voice Podcast. I'm your host, Shasta Ray, and I'm joined in the studio by Emmy the Minimacaw. She's sitting right here on the desk, and she's been mad at me today. I had to run quite a few errands. I was away from the house for a good stretch of time today, and she just she wasn't having it. She was mad at me when I got home and snubbed me. Oh my gosh, she wouldn't give me the time of day, wouldn't step up for me, sat and sulked for a while, pouted, and then as soon as she was ready to be warm and friendly with me again, and then she had, you know, apparently forgiven me for her abandonment issues today. Then she climbed on my shoulder, and when she gets needy like that, she goes to the center of my back and hangs onto my shirt because she knows I can't make her step up, and uh she's she's a little pill when her opinion gets in high gear, so she's been kind of connected to me, and I think the uh the extremeness is finally mellowing out and leveling a little bit. So yep, that was our day today. Lots of drama when you have a pet bird, I'm telling ya. And I have seven of these. Actually, my four budgies, they're not attention hounds as bad, but the two cockatiels and the mini macaw, oh my gosh, you have to be dedicated to these animals. They're not for everybody, and you sign up for a life of servitude. You are owned by them, is how it works. Alright, so enough about Emmy and her drama. Let's run through your sleep prep so that you can relax and prepare for a wonderful Friday night bedtime story. So it doesn't really matter. Are you here to fall asleep? Maybe you're just gonna kick back for a while, maybe you're here to put your feet up after the end of a long day. Whatever the case, get comfortable, and even if you're puttering around the house or you're kind of busy right now, take just a second and stop. Let's all do a really good stretch because we carry so much stress and tension with us. A quick stretch in the moment can really release a ton of that. Plus it's very good for you. So just do a really good stretch, something that's really good for you. Reach all the way through your arms, through your legs, down into your fingers, your toes, and wiggle your fingers and toes, but make sure you just really engage all those muscles and then release all those muscles, and then after you release your stretch, take a moment to appreciate the moment and just feel how amazing it is after you release all that tension and stress from your muscles. It's wonderful. Follow that up with a couple good deep breaths of air. Inhale to about the count of four, maybe the count of five, hold it for about the same amount of time, and then exhale just a little bit slower, so about to the count of six, maybe seven. And between the stretch and the couple deep breaths of air, you are gonna fall asleep so much easier. You're gonna be relaxed, all that tension of the day gone, or at least a chunk of it, right? And before we get started, just a reminder, head on over to comfortingvoice.com. That's our headquarters website, and that's where you can find all of the really good stuff there. We've got the Thrive shop with the Thrive gear, and I've got some crew neck sweatshirts there. I'm about ready to put some more stuff in there. And then head on over to the coloring book link. I put my heart and soul into these coloring books. They're for de stress, they're for a positive distraction from the everyday hustle and bustle of life. And I've been making those in the popular size of eight and a half by eight and a half inches, and they're bold and easy, large print, really easy to just get into, let your mind drift, color, have fun, use whatever you like, whether you like pencils, crayons, markers, whatever. Have fun. Enjoy it. Take a load off, let your mind drift, and have a good time. What I like about coloring, not a huge time commitment. It's easy to get your little fix for five or ten minutes and then get on with your night, get on with your day, whatever the case is, so check that out. And of course all of the episodes can be heard right there on the website. Do me a favor, if you're enjoying the show, share it on your social media, tell some friends about it. Thanks in advance, and your support means the world to me. Alright, so last week we left off and Alice had just figured out how to get into that beautiful garden after seven chapters of craziness craziness. So we are reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. We're on chapter eight The Queen's Croquet Ground A large rose tree stood near the entrance of the garden. The roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it busily painting them red. Alice thought this to be a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of them say Look out now, Five. Don't go splashing paint over me like that. I couldn't help it, said Five in a sulky tone. Seven jogged my elbow. On which Seven looked up and said, That's right, Five, always lay the blame on others. You'd better not talk, said Five. I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserve to be beheaded. What for? said the one who had spoken first. That's none of your business, too, said Seven. Yes, it is his business, said Five, and I'll tell him. It was for bringing the cook tulip roots instead of onions. Seven flung down his brush and had just begun to say Well, of all of the unjust things when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice as she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly. The others looked around also, and all of them bowed low. Would you tell me, said Alice a little timidly, why you are painting the roses? Five and seven said nothing, but looked at two. Two began in a low voice. Why, the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a red rose tree, and we put in a white one by mistake, and if the queen was to find out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best for she comes to at this moment five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out The Queen, the Queen and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked around, eager to see the queen. First came ten soldiers carrying clubs. These were all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong and flat with their hands and feet at the corners. Next the ten courtiers, these were ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two as the soldiers did. After these came the royal children, there were ten of them, and the little deers came jumping merrily along hand in hand in couples, and they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly kings and queens, and among them Alice recognized the white rabbit. It was talking in a hurried, nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without noticing her. Then followed the knave of hearts, carrying the king's crown on a crimson velvet cushion, and last of all the grand procession came the king and queen of hearts. Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard of such a rule at processions. And besides, what would be the use of a procession, thought she, if people all had to lie down upon their faces so that they couldn't see it? So she stood still where she was and waited. When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said severely How is this? She said it to the knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply. Idiot, said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently, and turning to Alice, she went on, What's your name, child? My name is Alice, so please your Majesty, said Alice very politely, but she added to herself, Why, they're only a pack of cards after all, I needn't be afraid of them. And who are these? said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who were laying around the rose tree, for you see, as they were laying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners or soldiers or courtiers, or three of her own children. How should I know? said Alice, surprised at her own courage. It's no business of mine. The queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed off with your head off with her head Nonsense, said Alice very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent. The king laid his hand upon her arm and timidly said Consider, my dear, she's only a child. The Queen turned away from him and said to the knave Turn him over. The knave did so very carefully with one foot. Get up, said the Queen in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped up and began bowing to the king, the queen, the royal children, and everyone else. Leave off that screamed the queen. You make me giddy. And then, turning to the rose tree, she went on What have you been doing here? May it please your Majesty, said Tu, in a very humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke. We were trying I see, said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses, and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection. You shan't be beheaded, said Alice, and she put them into a large flower pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, then quietly marched off after the others. Are their heads off? shouted the Queen. Their heads are gone if it please, your Majesty, the soldiers shouted in reply. That's right, shouted the Queen. Can you play croquet? The soldiers were silent and looked at Alice, as the question was evidently meant for her. Yes, shouted Alice. Come on then, roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, wondering very much what would happen next. It's a very fine day, said a timid voice at her side. She was walking by the white rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face. Yes, said Alice. Where's the Duchess? Hush, hush, said the rabbit in a low hurried tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, then raised himself up on tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered She's under the sentence of execution. What for? said Alice. Did you say what a pity? The rabbit asked. No, I didn't, said Alice. I don't think it's at all a pity. I asked what for? She boxed the Queen's ears, the rabbit began. Alice gave a little scream of laughter. Oh hush, the rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. The Queen will hear you. You see she came rather late, and the Queen said Get to your places shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other. However, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet ground in her life. It was all ridges and furrows, the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets were live flamingos, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and stand on their hands and feet to make arches. The chief difficulty Alice found at first was managing her flamingo. She succeeded in getting its body tucked away comfortably enough under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally just as she got its neck nicely straightened out and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist itself around and look up in her face with such a puzzled expression she could not help but bursting out laughing. And when she had got its head down and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself and was in the act of crawling away. Besides all this there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and as the doubled up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed. The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the while and fighting for the hedgehogs, and in a very short time the queen was in a furious passion and went stomping about and shouting off with this head or off with her head about once a minute. Alice began to feel very uneasy, to be sure. She had not as yet had any dispute with the queen, but she knew that might happen at any minute, and then she thought, what would become of me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here. The great wonder is that there's anyone left alive. She was looking about for some way of escape and wondering whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air. It puzzled her very much at first, but after watching it a minute or two, she made out what to be a grin, and she said to herself Ah, it's the Cheshire cat. Now I will have someone to talk to. How are you getting on? said the cat, as soon as there was a mouth enough for it to speak with. Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. It's no use speaking to it, she thought, till the ears have come, or at least one of them. In another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her flamingo and began an account of the game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The cat seemed to think that there is enough of itself now in sight, and no more of it appeared. I don't think they play at all fairly, Alice began in a rather complaining tone, and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak, and they don't seem to have any rules in particular, at least if there are no one attends to them. And you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive. For instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next, walking about at the other end of the ground, and I should have croqued the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming. How do you like the queen? The cat said in a low voice. Not at all, said Alice. She's so extremely just then she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening, so she went on, likely to win that it's hardly worth while finishing the game. The Queen smiled and passed on. Who are you talking to? said the king, going up to Alice and looking at the cat's head with great curiosity. It's a friend of mine, a Cheshire cat, said Alice. Allow me to introduce it. I don't like the look of it at all, said the king. However it may kiss my hand if it likes. I'd rather not, the cat remarked. Don't be impertinent, said the king. And don't look at me like that. He got behind Alice as he spoke. A cat may look at a king, said Alice. I have read that in some book, I don't remember where. Well it must be removed, said the king very decidedly, and he called the queen, who was passing by at the moment. My dear, I wish you would have this cat removed. The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties great or small. Off with the ted, she said, without even looking around. I'll fetch the executioner myself, said the king eagerly, and he hurried off. Alice thought she may as well go back and see how the game was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or not, so she went in search of her hedgehog. The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the other. The only difficulty was that her flamingo was gone across the other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of a way to fly up into a tree. By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was over and both the hedgehogs were out of sight. But it doesn't matter much, thought Alice, as all the arches are gone from the side of the ground. So she tucked it away under her arm that it might not escape again, and went back for a little more conversation with her friend. When she got back to the Cheshire cat, she was surprised to find quite a large crowd collected around it. There was a dispute going on between the executioner, the king, and the queen, who were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent and looked very uncomfortable. The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle the question, and they repeated her arguments to her though, as they all spoke at once. She found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what they said. The executioner's argument was that you couldn't cut off a head unless there was a body to cut it off from, that he had never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at his time of life. The king's argument was that anything that had a head could be beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense. The Queen's argument was that if something weren't done about it in less than no time, she'd have everyone executed all around. And it was this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious. Alice could think of nothing else to say, but it belongs to the Duchess. You better ask her about it. She's in prison, the Queen said to the executioner. Fetch her here. And the executioner ran off like an arrow. The cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely disappeared, so the king and executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it while the rest of the party went back to the game. Sounds like total mayhem. Oh my goodness. Alright, so that was chapter 8 of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Sounds like a very difficult game of croquet to play, and I guess that's all we got for tonight. So until next week, when we find out what happens next, sleep tight, good night, and bye bye.