S3 E16 The Science of Sleeping Stress Free

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Good evening. Welcome to the Comforting Voice Podcast. I'm your host, Shasta Ray, and I'm joined in the studio tonight by Emmy the Minimicaw. She's sitting here on the desk and she's just trying to find something to do. I've been giving her things to chew on. She's not happy with that. She wants me to pet her and then she bites me. So yeah, it's just uh trying to keep her happy. She's been molting and growing in new feathers, and I think that makes them very uncomfortable. So uh try to keep her happy. She's a good bird though. She really is. Alright, how about you? Are you off to a good start? Are you cranky? Are you shedding your feathers? Oh my goodness. It has been just very chaotic, very stressful, and I think it's just it just seems like there's momentum going on with that. And then this time of year, that's you know, people are ramping up for warm weather. We're adding more to our plate, we're tasked with more stuff around the house because now we gotta do work outdoors, right? So, you know, it's just a bombardment. And I thought maybe tonight would be a really great night to recap and just kind of get back to our roots and touch on why this podcast is here, why we started it. It's a little over a year old now, and our listener base just keeps adding and growing and changing radically. So I figure, you know, it's not a bad idea to just kind of recap on our mission statement, so to speak. And I've got some really great tips that fall into that. Really quick, before we get going too deep into the episode, let's run through your sleep prep. We're gonna do it really fast this time because I've got some content for you. So, first and foremost, you know the gig. Take just a second, once you're settling in and you're comfortable and you're getting ready to doze off or just relax for a little bit, whatever your gig, give yourself an amazingly good productive stretch. Reach into your arms and legs, all the way into the fingers and toes, wiggle those fingers and toes really good and release that stretch. And then after that stretch, you're gonna want to follow up with a couple good breaths of air. Inhale slow, about the count of four, hold it to about the count of four, and then exhale a little bit slower, about the count of six. Do that a couple of times. You can even cycle through those two actions, however suits your needs, and that's gonna set you up for a wonderful night's sleep and kick you off to at least some amazing relaxation in the moment. Alright, moving right along. Let's check in with you guys, first and foremost. Let's do our join the fun segment. So the next country on our listener base list that's been joining the fun is Hong Kong. Hong Kong has one of the highest concentrations of skyscrapers in the world, creating one of the most recognizable skylines on Earth. Despite its size, Hong Kong has extensive country parks that cover over 40% of its land, protecting large areas of natural green space. Hong Kong's harbor has been a major global trading hub for centuries, connecting east and west through maritime trade. So if you're joining the fund from Hong Kong, you represent striking contrasts, global connection, and a place where nature and one of the world's most iconic skylines exist side by side. Next on our listener base location list is Portugal. Portugal is home to one of the world's oldest continuously operating bookstores, still welcoming readers today. Portugal was one of the first global maritime exploration powers helping map trade routes across the world. Portugal has a long coastline relative to its size, giving it a deep connection to the Atlantic Ocean. So if you're joining the fun from Portugal, you represent exploration, endurance, and culture shaped by the sea and storytelling. And last this week on our list of listener based locations is Jamaica. Jamaica is the birthplace of reggae music, a genre that has influenced musicians around the world. The island is home to Blue Mountain Coffee, one of the most sought after and carefully grown coffees globally. Jamaica produces some of the fastest sprinters in the world, consistently excelling in international track events. So if you're joining the fun from Jamaica, you represent rhythm, excellence, and a culture that has made global impact far beyond its size. And next week we will explore three more listener-based countries. The pickle chicken is perched on my shoulder right now, so I think it's a good time to jump into the cigar box and grab a tea tag and a fortune cookie slip. Okay, that was easy. Your tea tag Earth laughs in flowers, and that's a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. And your fortune cookie slip. You will be happy to receive good news. Congratulations. And your lucky numbers off of the back of the fortune cookie slip forty-four, thirty-seven, forty-six, fifty-six, thirty-nine, and thirteen. And it seems like Emmy has, you know, slowed down her ambition on attacking some of the things on my desk. So hey, we're good. No bites. All of my fingers are safe, and so is the archive receptacle. That is a beautiful thing. Alright, so what was I talking about? Oh yes, the mission statement for this podcast. Why are we here? Okay, so I think it was very, very early in the podcast. I kind of went over the the why, how I came up with the idea, and the idea came from the last couple podcasts I had. They were radically different, you know, topic and theme and all that, but I had people that would tell me they they had no interest in the subject matter. They just liked the way I talked. I made them feel safe. I was friendly, and they just put it on and they would binge listen to sleep through it. And the first time someone told me that, I did not know how to process it. It was just the weirdest thing to have someone tell me that. So my go-to was always scary stories and true crime stuff, that sort of thing. And at some point in time, I couldn't listen to it anymore as a podcast to just fall asleep to. It was triggering anxiety, and I would wake up the next morning in full-blown anxiety attacks and stuff. It was just doing weird stuff to me. So I still enjoy those, but only when I'm wide awake, your head processes that stuff differently, I think. What are you doing, Emmy? And um I started seeking out podcasts to help me fall asleep. Well, the problem, in my opinion, it was really hard to find podcasts with natural speaking voices that didn't have anything to do with, you know, um the news or discussions of various topics that were triggering in some way or uninteresting to me. The sleep podcasts, people talked unnaturally. That was just irritating. It wasn't relaxing. So I would just start seeking out natural speaking podcasts with kind of a certain energy level to it, and I was able to fall asleep to it. And so I started realizing maybe there's just a need for non-triggering topics, keeping people company, talking so they can fall asleep feeling safe, like they're in a safe space, that sort of thing. So that's kind of how I developed the whole idea for this podcast is to give everyone a break from all the stuff in the news, all the stuff in politics, all of the true crime, all the scary stories. I can't tell you how many people I have talked to, they just can't even do the most simplistic, surface-level scary stories. They just can't do it. And so I figured the world needs just maybe a friend. Maybe someone that's got your back so you can just doze off and not worry about stuff. Maybe the the action of listening to that voice, the topics being talked about, gets your mind off stuff, all the goodness that comes with it, right? So that's kind of why I I came up with this whole idea and put this podcast on. So who better than my friend Lon to have him contribute? Because we're just like-minded, and we've known each other for I don't even know how many years. It's it's like 20 years or something now. I'm not sure. I think I met him somewhere in the area of 2006, and very recently a friend of mine who I met through my first podcast. She had been a she had been a guest on my first podcast, and we remained friends. Well, she has a blog. So she did a blog article about the podcast a while back, and I don't have the link as recording this. I will get that and I'm gonna create a page on the website for resources like that. Her name's Mitzi, so I'll get Mitzi's blog and we'll get that link on there so you can check that out. Anyhow, she was gonna do an interview and I was gonna provide her a little audio snippet intro that Lon created and sent through. Well, she wasn't feeling well and she had some stuff that was going on. Long story short, she just kind of listened to some episodes, wrote a really nice blog post about the comforting voice, and we never did the interview. So I thought this is a really, really great point to take that audio lawn intro, and we're just gonna let you have a lawn intro. And we're gonna hear firsthand a little bit about why he and I are collabing together on this effort. I think we're very like-minded in that sense, and you know, he's been a really great friend over the years. He's been a delight to know, really good person, and we've just had all kinds of amazing conversations over the years. So he was just a natural fit for this podcast, as just, you know, another comforting voice to lend to the show. So I'm gonna let Lon take it over from here. And this is the clip that he sent through as part of that interview effort that never took place. And furthermore, I'll have to look on the exact date, but it was right around the month of April that Lon made his first appearance on The Comforting Voice. It was about the eighth or ninth episode, somewhere through there. So it's right about the one-year anniversary of when Lon started making his appearance here. So it's a really great time, also. So I'm gonna let you hang out with Lon for a few minutes, and then we're gonna come back, and I got some really great stuff to just kind of emphasize all of this really great stuff. Here you go.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Hey, it's Lon, sidekick, associate, friend, longtime friend, past client, past observer. There are all kinds of words that Chasta might use to describe me. Those are the nice ones, of course. But as longtime friends, we can get away with that. Uh, she asked me to speak just a bit about my part of the comforting voice, something that has been put together to hopefully help cure the world. I am in the southwest in the U.S. I am in the Chihuahuan Desert in the Southwest, the northern end of it. So I am outside now in oh, about a foot of sunshine today. And I say that just so that you can maybe feel the warmth just a bit. Uh what I'd like to contribute here is uh what the podcast means to me, what appeals to me, uh what I'd like you as the world to get from the podcast. The biggest part of it is it appeals to me because in this world of chaos, I have always posted things online, published things online and in books and papers and articles seeking and promoting positivity, seeking and promoting calmness, peacefulness, and I've helped myself and I've helped others as they are coming up on the path behind me, and that always helps me too. Whenever I teach, I learn. So what I wanted to what I found appealing to of this is a worldwide platform, something that we can get on a global basis and help perhaps the quietest corner see a little light. That's what appealed to me in the first place. What it means to me, the podcast, is just that a global platform that can be heard in the smallest of country, tiniest of town, bleakest corner, and someone somewhere might just get something out of it. Know that they're not alone. Know that there is a comforting voice. Catch how I worked that in. So that's what the podcast means to me, and that also kind of explains what I want the world to know about the podcast, is that we are always going to promote peace, thriving, positivity. We are not going to promote or focus on any negativity or doubt or anger. It's always going to be a place you can go and find a corner of the world that is a good place to be. And as far as me, my story started a long time ago, just a real quick capsule version of it. Uh sixteen years old, I listened to radio, I wanted to be on radio, and I pursued it. I went and visited uh visited a couple of stations in Minneapolis, and that's how it grew. I became a 19-year-old program director at a little uh country station in Montana, and I went up and down the dial, just like some of the songs and stories go. I have done everything from 45s to LPs to EPs to CDs to SD cards to digital and online, so this is just a wonderful extension that allows me to be immortal. These words, my voice, can never go away once it goes online. So it is one way to help the world be a little better place, and it's one way for me to be immortal. I'm Lon. Thrive.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

And now you know exactly why Von came to mind when I put this show together. Yep. That's why he's here. He was just a natural for it, so yep, I appreciate you, Lon. Thanks so much, and I hope you don't mind that I used your little intro here on the show. I'm gonna make sure that Mitzi gets a copy of the link to this particular episode. Hey Mitzi. Okay, and so I came up with a whole bunch of stuff that just kind of ties into this podcast, the positivity, but also the things that kind of help us fall asleep easier so we don't have all that stuff on our minds, all the mental racing that keeps us awake, or the stuff that wakes us up in the middle of the night and makes us, you know, sleepy the next morning because we just didn't sleep soundly, had too much on our minds, right? So anyway, just understanding why a few simple things actually help your brain let go and fall asleep is kind of what we're gonna talk about. We're not gonna be doing anything complicated, no overthinking, and we're not looking for like a perfect routine type pressure. When it comes to podcasts like this one, or a number of others that you can find if you look hard enough, natural voices can help you sleep. There's a reason why the overly meditation style, new agey voice kind of stuff doesn't work for everyone. When it sounds forced or if it's unnatural, like an unnatural speaking method, you know, the meditation-y stuff, the new age-y stuff, the sleep hypnosis type voice, that sort of thing, it will kind of trigger some people in the opposite way. It makes your brain stay more alert, and that's because it's subtle, but your brain is constantly asking, is this real? Do I need to pay attention to this? It sounds fake. Is it safe? Fake doesn't equal safe. So you'll kind of bounce around with those concepts but not really realize you are because it's kind of in your deep psyche. A natural speaking voice does the opposite. It signals a normal human presence. It feels like someone is just talking nearby. It's a familiarity that lowers your guard. And think about it. Falling asleep with the TV in the background, like the news, something like that, hearing people talk in the other room and you've had a long day and you just doze off and you hear the family in the other room chit-chatting about their day or something, or listening to a friend when they're just rambling about something and you're having a hard time keeping your interest. Your brain recognizes this as safe and it's everyday noise. Safety is permission to power down. And on the flip side, overly polished or artificial tones can feel like a performance. It can feel forced in some way. Your brain is going to stay in a light analysis mode. It's not going to drift. And this can work the same if it's an unfamiliar accent. So one example I'll give is like a British or even an Australian accent can be very soothing and very relaxing and pleasant to listen to, but if I try to sleep to it, it's just unfamiliar enough because I live in the United States that it doesn't work for me for sleeping, I end up staying awake and listening to all of it. So even a foreign accent that's traditionally thought as being very soothing, for some people it's just another layer of work for your brain to process. And more processing is more wakefulness. And the goal isn't to impress your brain, the goal is to bore it in a very gentle way while making it feel safe. Now here's the reason that Lon and I pick a lot of safe topics, stuff that may sound like kind of we're repeating a little bit, things that, you know, it's just kind of reaffirming kind of the same thing, different angles, different aspects of self-care, the whole vibe, so to speak. And that's because super complex topics will keep your brain engaged differently. New information, your brain is trying to store it, analyze it, connect it, remember it. If it's familiar, if it's low stakes, if it's easy listening, it does something different. If it gives your mind just enough to follow, and it's not a problem solving kind of mode that you're in. It's a sweet spot. It's not silence, it's not hard stimulation, it's safe mental drift. And it reaffirms the positive. So one day of the week we've got our easy listening ramble chat, and then on Fridays I've got the vintage bedtime stories, and I like to do the kids' stories. Why do they work so well? Well, there's something very powerful about bedtime stories, especially the simple older nostalgic ones. First, there's predictability. There's always simple structure, there's a clear beginning, middle, and end. There's no sudden twists or emotional spikes. There's low cognitive demand. It's easy language, slower pace, simple topics, and your brain just doesn't really have to work. The emotional tone, it's more gentle, it's safe, it's non threatening. It may even be a little on the silly side. Storytime is very deeply tied to childhood routines. Being read to equates to being cared for. Being cared for is safe, and safe is everything when it comes to sleeping. And even if someone didn't have perfect childhood experiences, the pattern of a story plus a calmer attitude, a calmer voice, it signals winding down. Vintage bedtime stories add another layer. They feel slower, they feel less overstimulating than modern content. And they're almost like stepping out of the current world, so it's kind of a disassociation. It's not about the story being super interesting or super exciting. It's about giving your brain permission to stop being alert. And then I always go through our sleep prep. So let's talk about why I've included that every episode. So before sleep, you know, we've been awake all day. And like I always say, your body holds all these little small amounts of tension and stress. So even if you don't realize it, it's there. Stretching does two things. It brings awareness to the body and it releases built-up tension. So the key is contrast. You tighten and you release. You engage, you let go. And that's what the stretch does. When you stretch your arms and legs, you're activating muscles briefly, and then you're signaling that they can fully relax. When you wiggle your fingers and toes, it pulls awareness out of your head and into your body. And then when you wiggle your fingers and toes, it pulls awareness out of your head, it draws it into your body and away from racing thoughts. It's very simple, but it's very effective. You're basically telling your nervous system, we're done for the day, it's time to relax. And the breathing pattern that we always go through, this is where things can really shift for you. That pattern that we always do, like the four count inhale, four count hold, six count exhale, or something that's similar that feels comfortable to you. What's really happening is you're slowing the breath, and slower breathing is telling your body that you're not in danger. Fast breathing puts you into an automatic alert mode. Slow breathing is rest mode. The longer exhale is the key, so it activates your parasympathetic nervous system, and that's your rest and digest system. It slows your heart response, and it creates a calming feedback loop within your body. The counting part gives your brain something simple to follow, it's not stimulating, it's more of an anchor for your attention. It replaces bracing thoughts with very little effort. So when you put all that together, you've got a podcast, it's just a natural speaking voice, that reduces your mental resistance. If you've got simple, easy listening stories, it prevents overthinking. The gentle movement like the stretching, then the controlled breathing, you're going to release physical tension and shift your nervous system. None of these things are extreme, and that's the whole point. Sleep does not come from forcing, it comes from removing obstacles. So that's a good way to think of exactly why we go through this stuff every time we come here. And just a couple closing thoughts on all of that. You don't want to try to make yourself sleep. You want to create conditions where sleep can happen easily. You want to feel safe, calm, uncomplicated, and let your body do what it already knows how to do. And in a busy world full of all kinds of chaos, sometimes just that little bit of structure helps you get through it, and it just works naturally without that goofy stuff that we're all probably trying to run from, right? And I think that's all I've got for you this week. So until we hang out again on Friday, sleep tight, good night, and bye bye.