S3 E19 The Mock Turtle Sings in Chapter 10 of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

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Good evening and welcome to the Comforting Voice podcast. I'm your host, Shasta Ray, and it's just you and me tonight. All of the birds are upstairs in the bird room, they're watching TV. The dog is upstairs, he's breathing heavily and noisily outside of the range of the microphone, and we're just gonna hang out and have our vintage bedtime story tonight. How are you? How has your week been? Oh my gosh, it's just busy. And then with the onset of warm weather, everyone is just busier, and I bet Janething, you are ready to fall asleep and recharge those batteries. Because I know I am, oh my goodness. Anyway, before we get started, let's get you off to some relaxation, offset some stress, and just recharge a little bit just in the moment. So take a second, give yourself a really good stretch, reach into your arms, your legs, all the way into the fingers and toes, wiggle the fingers and toes, and then release that stretch. If you want some extra credit, do a couple really gentle shoulder rolls or lift your shoulders and release them, and maybe even twist your head, you know, side to side and front to back very gently. Don't want to put any stress on the neck. We just want to release a little bit of tension. If it's not good for you, don't do that. Just don't. It's not worth it. Okay, settle into your comfort position. Are you gonna kick back on the couch? Are you going to bed for the night? What's your thing? Do your thing. Do whatever it is that you're here to do. Get comfy, make sure you've got everything you need at your fingertips, and when you're ready, give yourself a couple deep breaths. You're gonna inhale slowly to about the count of four, hold it to about the count of four, and then exhale a little bit more slow, about the count of six, and that is gonna reset you and make you ready to drift off between that and the stretch. And like I always say, throw in another stretch if you've got to, throw in another couple deep breaths of air if you've got to, make it work for you and do what's right for you. But what it does is it resets everything in the moment, it offloads stress of the day, tension of the day, it redirects attention, it redirects energy, and it prepares you to relax, drift off to sleep, and let go of whatever it is you need to let go of. It's a wonderful thing. Okay, now that you're all ready to go, before you completely doze off and fall asleep, don't forget when you have a couple of minutes, look down in the show notes. Maybe you want to do it right now. Check it out if you're just gonna sit back and kick back and relax and listen to this. Check out the website comfortingvoice.com, and all of the episodes can be heard right there from the website. Very easy to share on your social media. Share the joy, bring other people into the fun. There might be other people on your social media that are looking for a podcast just like this. They want to go somewhere, hang out, stress-free content, easy listening. Here we go. While you're on the website, check out the links I've got there. I'm about ready to add more. I know I keep saying that, but I've I've changed my mind a couple of times on what I'm gonna put on there, so I'm kind of restructuring in that way. And if you're looking for other relaxation tools, don't forget to check out my coloring books. I author them myself, and there's a link there just says coloring books. That is the start to my coloring book empire. I'm hoping to get another couple of them published this weekend. I'm not sure if I'm gonna have time. We'll see. I've got the images ready to go, so we'll see what happens. Anyway, there you go. Comfortingvoice.com. Great place to be, great place to check out. Contact form there. You can put in some requests for content if you would like to request anything here on the podcast. And yeah, I think that covers everything with the uh draw to attention to the website. That's what we do on podcasts. You have to kind of promote your own stuff, draw attention to it, otherwise nobody knows it exists, right? Um, oh, I know what I was gonna tell you guys. So another convenient way to know when I drop episodes, I've got a Facebook page in case you were not aware of the Facebook page, uh Facebook.com slash the comforting voice podcast. I am unsure if I've got a link to that on the website yet. I'll have to double check. We've got a YouTube channel, and I am ramping up to re-release episodes on the YouTube channel. So I've got a few on there already with audiograms, and that's just a still image and it's got the little indicator that sound is going on, so it's kind of boring. So I'm coming up with my own visuals to do for you guys. So for those of you that just want something obscure to zone out on and you want something to watch while you listen to the show, we're gonna have that. So that might be your gig. Or maybe you know someone else that wants something like that. Anyway, that is soon to come. I'm not sure when I'm gonna have that done, but you can look forward to it. And now for the reason we're all here tonight, vintage bedtime stories. And really quick, before we get started, I want to note that in tonight's reading there's a lot of songs. I'm probably just gonna read them. I really don't want to cause you guys nightmares, so we'll see how this comes out. Sometimes I change my mind mid-reading, but uh I think I think just for everybody's safety, I'm gonna chant it out a little bit. I'll try to be creative. Anyway, hang in there folks. Hang in there, I'm doing the best I can. Alright, let's get started. Tonight we are continuing Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, and we are on chapter ten The Lobster Quadrill. The Mock Turtle sighed deeply and drew the back of one flapper across his eyes. He looked at Alice and tried to speak, but for a minute or two sobs choked his voice. Same as if he had a bone in his throat, said the Griffin, and set to work shaking him and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and with tears running down his cheeks, he went on again. You may not have lived much under the sea. I haven't, said Alice. And perhaps you are never even introduced to a lobster. Alice began to say I once tasted, but checked herself hastily, and no, never. So you can have no idea what a delightful thing a lobster quadrille is. No, indeed, said Alice. What sort of dance is it? Why, said the Griffin, you first form into a line along the seashore. Two lines, cried the Mock Turtle. Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on. Then when you've cleared all the jellyfish out of the way. That generally takes some time, interrupted the Griffin. You advance twice. Each with a lobster as a partner, cried the griffin. Of course, the mock turtle said. Advance twice, set to partners. Change lobsters and retire in the same order, continued the griffin. Then, you know, the mock turtle went on. You throw the lobsters shouted the griffon with a bound into the air. As far out to sea as you can. Swim after them, screamed the griffin. Turn a somersault in the sea, cried the mock turtle, capering wildly about. Change lobsters again, yelled the griffin at the top of its voice. Back to land again and that's all the first figure, said the mock turtle, suddenly dropping his voice, and the two creatures who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly and quietly and looked at Alice. It must be a very pretty dance, said Alice timidly. Would you like to see a little of it? said the Mock Turtle. Very much indeed, said Alice. Come, let's try the first figure, said the Mock Turtle to the Griffin. We can do without the lobsters, you know. Which of us shall sing? Oh you sing, said the Griffin. I've forgotten the words. So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the mock turtle sang this, very slowly and very sadly. Will you walk a little faster? said a whiting to a snail. There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.

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See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance. They are waiting on the shingle will you come and join the dance? Will you won't you? Will you won't you will you join the dance? Will you won't you will you won't you won't you join the dance? You can really have no notion how delightful it will be when they take us up and throw us with lobsters out to sea.

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But the snail replied too far, too far and gave a look askance, said he thanked the white and kindly, but would he not join the dance? Would not could not would not could not would not join the dance would not could not would not could not could not join the dance What matters it how far we go? His scaly friend replied There is another shore you know upon the other side The further off from England the nearer is to France Then turn not pale beloved snail but come and join the dance Will you won't you will you won't you Will you join the dance? Will you won't you will you won't you won't you join the dance? Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch, said Alice, feeling very glad it was over at last. And I do so like that curious song about the whiting. Oh, as to the whiting, said the Mock Turtle. You've seen them, of course. Yes, said Alice. I've often seen them at Din she checked herself hastily. I don't know where Din may be, said the Mock Turtle. But if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're like. I believe so, Alice replied thoughtfully. They have their tails in their mouths, and they're all over crumbs. You're wrong about the crumbs, said the mock turtle. Crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But they have their tails in their mouths, and the reason is here the mock turtle yawned and shut his eyes. Tell her about the reason and all that, he said to the Griffin. The reason is, said the Griffin, that they would go with the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall along the way, so they got their tails fast in their mouths, so they wouldn't get them out again. That's all. Thank you, said Alice. It's very interesting. I never knew so much about a whiting before. I can tell you more than that if you like, said the Griffin. Do you know why it's called whiting? I never thought about it, said Alice. Why? It does the boots and shoes, the Griffin replied very solemnly. Alice was thoroughly puzzled. Does the boots and shoes? she repeated in a wondering tone. Why, what are your shoes done with? said the Griffin. I mean, what makes them so shiny? Alice looked down at them and considered a little more before she gave her answer. They're done with blacking, I believe. Boots and shoes under the sea, the griffin went on in a deep voice. Are done with whiting, now you know. And what are they made of? asked Alice in a tone of great curiosity. Souls and eels, of course, the griffin replied rather impatiently. Any shrimp could have told you that. If I'd been the whiting, said Alice, whose thoughts were still running on the song, I'd have said to the porpoise keep back, please, we don't want you with us. They were obliged to have em with them, the Mock Turtle said. No wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise. Wouldn't it really? said Alice in a tone of great surprise. Of course not, said the Mock Turtle.

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Why if a fish came to me and told me he was going on a journey, I should say with what porpoise?

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Don't you mean purpose? said Alice. I mean what I say, the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone, and the Griffin added, Come, let's hear some of your adventures. I could tell you my adventures beginning from this morning, said Alice a little timidly, but it's no use going back to yesterday because I was a different person then. Explain all that, said the Mock Turtle. No, no, the adventures first, said the Griffin in an impatient tone. Explanations take such a dreadful time. So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first saw the white rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at first. The two creatures got so close to her, one on each side and opened their eyes and mouths so very wide, but she gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about her repeating You are old Father William to the caterpillar, and the words all coming out different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath and said That's very curious. It's about as curious as it can be, said the Griffin. It all came different, the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. I should like to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to begin. He looked at the griffin as if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice. Stand up and repeat, 'tis the voice of the sluggard, said the Griffin. How the creatures order one about and make one repeat lessons, thought Alice. I may as well be at school at once. However, she got up and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the lobster quadrille that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came out very strange indeed. 'Tis the voice of the lobster I heard him declare You have baked me to brown, I must sugar my hair. As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose, trims his belt and buttons and turns out his toes. When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, and will talk in contemptuous tones of the shark. But when the tide rises and sharks are around, his voice has a timid and tremulous sound. That's different from what I used to say when I was a child, said the griffin. Well, I never heard it before, said the mock turtle. But it sounds like uncommon nonsense. Alice said nothing. She had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if anything would ever happen in a natural way again. I should like to have it explained, said the Mock Turtle. She can't explain it, said the Griffin hastily. Go on with the next verse. But about his toes, the Mock Turtle persisted. How could he turn them out with his nose, you know? It's the first position in dancing, Alice said, but was dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and just wanted to change the subject. Go on with the next verse, the griffin repeated impatiently. It begins I passed by his garden. Alice did not dare disobey, though she felt sure it would all come wrong, and she went on with a trembling voice. I passed by his garden and marked with one eye how the owl and the panther were sharing a pie. The panther took pie crust and gravy and meat, while the owl had the dish and its share of the treat. When the pie was all finished, the owl as a boon was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon, while the panther received knife and fork with a growl and concluded the bouquet.

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What is the use of repeating all that stuff? The mock turtle interrupted, if you don't explain it as you go on. It's by far the most confusing thing I've ever heard.

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Yes, I think you'd better leave off, said the griffin, and Alice was only too glad to do so. Shall we try another figure of the lobster quadrille? The Griffin went on. Or would you like the mock turtle to sing you a song? Oh, a song, please, if the mock turtle would be so kind, Alice replied, so eagerly that the griffin said in a rather offended tone, no accounting for tastes. Sing her turtle soup, will you, old fellow? The mock turtle sighed deeply and began in a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this Beautiful soup So rich and green waiting in a hot terrene Who for such dainties would not stoop?

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Soup of the evening beautiful soup Soup o' the evening beautiful soup Beautiful soup Beautiful soup Soup of the evening beautiful beautiful soup Beautiful soup Who cares for fish, game or any other dish? Who would not give all else for two penny worth only of beautiful soup?

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Pennyworth only of beautiful soup Beautiful soup beautiful soup Soup of the evening beautiful beautiful soup Chorus again cried the griffin, and the mock turtle had just begun to repeat it when a cry of the trial's beginning was heard in the distance. Come on, cried the griffin, and taking Alice by the hand it hurried off without waiting for the end of the song. What trial is it? Alice panted as she ran, but the griffin only answered, Come on, and ran the faster, while more and more faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words soup of the evening.

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Beautiful, beautiful soup.

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Oh my, things just keep getting dreamier and more surreal and more strange as we go. Such a fun book. I hope you're enjoying it as much as I have been. And I guess that's all I really have for you this evening. We're just gonna conclude here. I'll see you on Tuesday for our regular ramble chat mishmash of goodness. And until then, sleep tight, good night, and bye bye.