S3 E24 Survival Guide: Stayin' Strong When Life's Feelin' Wrong

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Good evening and welcome to the Comforting Voice podcast. I'm your host, Shasta Ray, and I'm joined in the studio by a very obnoxious little pickle chicken, um, Emmy the Minimicaw. So we're gonna have Bertie ASMR tonight. She has some pellets in a glass dish. It's right by the condenser mic. We'll see how it transfers. I just so you know, you don't own a bird. They own you. Sometimes you don't have a choice in the matter. So, that said, I hope you're having a fantastic start to your week. I really am, except for you know, all the demands on me by a small six-inch pickle-looking chicken thing. The struggle is real. I spent all this time preparing her some apple on her play stand dishes. I put water over there, and all she did is eat one little piece, throw it on the floor, and then start screaming. And so now we don't know what's gonna happen to your eardrums, but you are getting Bertie ASMR. So that could be a bonus, I'm not sure. Moving right along, I think it's time for you to get out of my personal little dreamland or nightmare, whatever applies, and let's get you off to a good night's sleep. Let's go through your sleep prep and get you comfortable, you know? Settle in, get your pillow all mushed up into that position that works best for you, set the volume on your listening device at that perfect spot, and then whatever you need. Get your bottle of water at your fingertips, your favorite teddy bear, your sleep mask, maybe you need an extra blanket or a pair of pajamas or something, extra pair of socks, whatever you need to get cozy. Now, if you're just gonna hang out with me for a while, put your feet up, relax, get that piping hot cup of tea, get your snack, whatever you're gonna do to take a break and escape the world for a little bit. Maybe you've got a bird crawling all over you. Do whatever you gotta do to get comfortable, relax, get into that position that works best for you, let your mind drift, and when you're ready, give it a good stretch. Reach through your arms, your legs, into the fingers, toes, wiggle the fingers and toes, and then release that stretch. And then, when you're ready, part two to that is the deep productive breath of air. We're gonna do a variant this week though. I saw this on Facebook and I think it is excellent. So, at the very top of the inhale, and you're gonna want to inhale to about the count of four. Hold it for about a half a second, and then just do another quick little tiny inhale on top of that. So inhale, two, three, four, hold it, little tiny inhale, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale a lot slower than what that inhale was. And that entire sequence, all of it, is gonna offset a whole bunch of the gobbledygook that could be stuck to you in the moment, you know, like a lingering mood or you've got some sort of tension from the day, you know? Just do that. You can do that any time of day you want. And it is a very useful tool. It works, and I saw that posted by a psychologist that does like physical therapy stuff or something. It was really fascinating. I should have bookmarked it. Anyway, let's see who's been joining the fun and take a quick fun-filled look. Here we go, the next three locations from our listener base, starting with Katar. Katar is one of the few places in the world where you can see desert dunes meeting the sea. Katar built an extensive modern subway system in just a few years with stations designed to stay cool even in extreme heat. That's awesome. Katar's National Library preserves ancient manuscripts and historical texts from across the region while also offering massive digital access to readers worldwide. That is really cool. So if you're joining the fun from Katar, you represent vision, preservation of knowledge, and a place where tradition and rapid innovation exist side by side. Next on the listener base list is Egypt. Egypt created one of the earliest known paper like writing materials helping preserve history and knowledge for thousands of years. Ancient Egyptians developed a calendar system so accurate that many of its concepts still influence modern calendars today. Egypt's monuments were already ancient to people living in the Roman Empire over two thousand years ago. So if you're joining the fund from Egypt, you represent endurance, human achievement, and a civilization whose influence still echoes through the modern world. Last on the list this week is Sweden. I'm gonna butcher this word, I have no idea how it's pronounced, so anyone from Sweden can laugh at me. Sweden has a concept called Alaman Rotten, Alamansratten, or the freedom to roam, allowing people to responsibly enjoy nature across much of the countryside. Sweden was one of the first countries to heavily recycle and reuse waste for energy production on a national scale. That's really cool. Sweden's pop music influence is enormous for its size, helping shape global music far beyond its population. So if you're joining the fun from Sweden, you represent balance, respect for nature, and an outsized creative influence on the world stage. I love this segment. So much fun. And really quick, since Emmy the mini macaw is quietly sitting on my shoulder, we're gonna dive into the cigar box rapidly and get your tea tag and your fortune cookie slip before she notices. Okay, and we had good luck with the pickle chicken. Okay, your tea tag for the evening. He who wants a rose must respect the thorn, and that is a Persian proverb and your fortune cookie slip. Your genuine talent will find its way to success and your lucky numbers off the back of the fortune cookie slip seven, fifteen, seventeen, twenty-six, thirty-nine, and forty-four. Good luck if you play the lottery or number games. I hope you win big or at least win your money back. Throw that into the archive receptacle. Alright. If you've got a minute, I got a minute. Actually, all you're gonna need is half a minute tonight. So let's check in with long for you got 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

I fell. I dragged. I crawled. I rose. I fell again. I quit. I paused. I found my one more time. I reached back to help another. I lifted until we were both on one knee. I fell. But I rose. Drive.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

And as I often do these days, I cheated a little bit. I listened ahead to see what tonight's clip was, and I think that's awesome. You know what? We are, as I state so much, this is such a great space. I love coming here and hanging out with you guys because it gives me an escape from all of the stress out there, all the toxicity, all of the things to be afraid of. Let's be serious. There's tons of stuff going on in the world on every level, from your inner circle on out to your entire country. So we get overload on that. It's nice to have a place to hang out, but it's also great to get some perspective from people who are doing our best to try to keep our chins up and our heads above water in these troubled times. And sometimes it's mindset, sometimes it's perspective. Wow, right? Anyway, Lon's awesome for that. He's great for generating ideas, perspective, and you know, things to talk about, things to discuss, real talk, but not in a way that's going to get in your head in a bad way. We always want to be your cheering section. We always want to be in your corner telling you that you can do it. You can get through it, you can. You can. Because hey, look at your track record. So far you've woke up every day. You're still here. So let's keep up that momentum and maybe make it a little more enjoyable. Sometimes if you know how to think on stuff, it will save about 95% of your sanity in the process. And like I always say, Lon and I aren't experts, we're not therapists, we've just got a lot of miles on our shoes, and we've been, you know, we've been getting through it. We've been making it work, and we've had our ups and our downs, just like everyone else. You know, we always want to be real about stuff. We're people too. So as the title suggests, tonight is your survival guide. How to stay strong when life is feeling wrong. Is that cheesy? But did it get you here? Did it work? Did you click on it? Okay, that's what matters. Yeah, so really, you know how Lon was saying, you know, you you're down, you get up, sometimes you just don't want to. Sometimes you take a minute and you get back up, you just keep fighting the fight, you know? Maybe strength isn't about never falling apart. Maybe it's about repeatedly deciding to continue. How about that? I've got some awesome trivia and fun facts and encouraging things for you in no particular order, but I think they all apply. Let's check them out. Please know, as a human being, you are shockingly adaptable. And researchers that study resilience have found that most people are far more capable of recovering from setbacks than you can imagine. We tend to underestimate our own ability to emotionally survive hard sessions. Sometimes you're not lazy or broken, your nervous system may simply be overloaded by uncertainty, bills, stress, bad news, job worries, social pressure, constant input from others that you didn't ask for. Modern life keeps many people in low grade survival mode at all times, sometimes in high grade survival mode, right? So we've had episodes about burnout, stuff like that, check those out. Tiny actions can matter way more than giant motivational speeches. Studies on motivation show that action often comes before motivation, not after. So waiting to feel ready can trap people for months or years. Momentum is emotional caffeine. One completed task, like making your bed, answering one email, taking one walk, washing the dishes. That alone can interrupt emotional paralysis. We often think we need a new life. Sometimes we just need sleep. Sometimes we just need sunlight. Healthy forms of protein. Even if you're vegan, you can get complete protein in vegan form. Sometimes we need less doom scrolling on social media. Sometimes we need a clean corner of a room. Maybe an honest conversation. Maybe just one tiny little itty bitty win. Maybe that's all you need. That can do more than you can imagine. A fascinating psychology fact. The brain is terrible at measuring progress day to day, but excellent at noticing contrast over time. That means growth can feel very, very, very invisible while it is occurring. Bamboo. It spends years building roots underground before it's ever visibly growing. Humans do this too. There are seasons where it's going to look like nothing is happening externally, while internally you are building tolerance, wisdom, endurance, and perspective. How many times have we talked about perspective? A lot of people feel ashamed for being tired. But look at what we're living through economic pressure, information overload, constant comparison, algorithm driven negativity, rising costs of everything, social fragmentation, and less real world community than humans evolved to have. The average human brain was not designed to absorb the emotional weight of the entire planet every day through a glowing rectangle. And then keep in mind that the phrase protect your energy, it sounds cheesy and new agey until you realize that attention is a limited biological resource. Where your attention goes, your emotional energy follows. Keep that in mind when you're doom scrolling. A helpful question to ask yourself does this nourish me or does it drain me? Another good question is what actually restores me? Many people don't know anymore. Keep in mind rest and avoidance are not the same thing. Sometimes you genuinely need rest and recovery before you can go at it again. There's research showing that awe, like genuine awe, improves emotional resilience, and this can be the stars at night, thunderstorms, music that really moves you, the singing of birds, looking up at giant trees, looking at the ocean, beautiful works of art, a really good story. Humans need wonder and awe almost as much as they need productivity. Here's another interesting tip I ran across. During difficult periods, shrink your time frame. Don't solve your whole life right now. Solve the next hour. Solve tomorrow morning. Solve the thing right now. One of the healthiest survival traits is flexibility, not perfection. Remember that trees that bend survive storms better than trees that are rigid. Another tip, and this is so true, some doors are closed. It doesn't mean your life is over. It may simply mean that your map is outdated and you need to go find a door that opens. As simple as that is, and as irritating as that is sometimes. But it's true. There's a powerful thing that happens when people stop asking, why is this happening to me? And start asking, what can I build from here? Where can I go from here? You don't have to become wildly successful overnight to rebuild your life. Stability itself is a victory. And then I've always talked about hobbies off and on. There's a reason that hobbies matter during hard times. Crafting, cooking, gardening, coloring, playing music, playing games, playing with animals. Heck, even podcasting. They create pockets of psychological safety. Small joys are not childish. They're survival tools. They give you a mental break, they give you a mental escape, and they give you a mental vacation in the moment. Researchers at Harvard have repeatedly found that strong social connection is one of the biggest predictors of long term happiness and resilience. Not money, not status, connection. And what that means is that sending a message, checking on a friend, talking to the cashier at the store, maybe joining a small community group. That can matter more than people realize. Community. Another one of the strongest things you can do all week is just continue. Remember that surviving a difficult chapter does not mean you failed. Survival itself is work. Let's face it. Another interesting fact I found is that the human brain has a negativity bias. It naturally looks for problems more than victories because ancient humans survived by spotting danger quickly. Isn't that interesting to think about? So that means if we don't take time and intentionally notice the good things, your brain may actually react like none exist. So I mean that's why Lon and I always talk about practicing gratitude, gratitude journals, all that sort of thing. And on that topic, even if you don't want to do a gratitude journal, you can do a practical exercise just every night, get in the habit of naming one thing about the day you didn't like, one thing that was okay, one thing that was positive or worth keeping. Over time, it helps you purposely look for the positive. And that's what gratitude journals do. So explore that. They really do make a difference. Nobody has to know about it, and it only takes a couple minutes at the end of the day. It's wonderful stuff. And then keep in mind, you are allowed to reinvent yourself quietly. Not every transformation or transformation effort you engage in needs to be an announcement to the world. Sometimes you may want to just keep that to yourself for a while. Sometimes your next chapter only begins when you stop trying to return to who you used to be. That's an interesting one to think on. If your energy is low, stop demanding 10 mile progress from one mile batteries. There's dignity in building slowly, and as a final thought, maybe courage is not loud. Maybe courage is making coffee when life feels strange. Maybe it's just taking a moment with your dog, feeding it, and spending a moment with that little friend. Maybe courage is trying again after you've been embarrassed. Courage can be applying for a job. Courage can be getting out of bed. Courage can be putting a smile on your face when things are tough. Courage is deciding your story's not done yet. And then always know it's not just you, it's a lot of us. There's millions of us out there, people just like you. We're falling down every day and we're trying again every day just like you. So you've probably got a lot of people who understand. It's just that we've never met each other. Okay, so I guess we're just gonna wrap this up here. I hope this has been some good food for thought for you. I am telling you guys, we are all fallen down these days, and we just have to get up sometimes several times in one day. It gets hard. Vaughn and I totally get it, we understand. But you can do it. We're all stumbling these days, you're not alone, and you're gonna get to where you need to be, you're gonna get it done, and you're gonna be better for it when you get there. Don't forget that. We'll catch you Friday for our regular vintage bedtime stories. We're starting our new book. Make sure you hit that subscribe button so you get notifications and you don't forget. We'll catch you then. Have a good one, everyone. Sleep tight, good night, and bye bye.