S3 E26 A Little Piece of Peace and How to Find It

Well, hello and welcome to the Comforting Voice Podcast. I'm your host Shasta Ray, and I'm joined in the studio tonight by Baxter the Cockatiel. I actually had Emmy the Minimacaw down here, and she was just behaving a little strangely. And I thought, well, I did have her out and away from her cage for quite a while today. She might have been pretty tired. So I took her up to her cage and gave her some food and thought, well, maybe she just needs a break. And Baxter was getting into trouble, so I thought, well, yeah, you're a good choice. We'll see what happens. So here we are. He's over on the play stand, eating some millet. Looks like he's gonna exhaust that supply pretty soon, and he'll probably be all up in the space soon enough. So how are you? Is your week off to a good start? I hope so. I hope you're doing well. I hope you're ready to have a great time tonight. Maybe doze off, relax, kick back, escape the hustle and bustle of the busy world. Whatever your reason, I'm glad you're here. Okay, gosh, we have a whole bunch of stuff tonight. We're gonna have fun. We always have fun. But let's keep that fun just a little bit low-key, and before we just really get rolling into things, we'll start off with the gold standard, your sleep prep. This is the part of the show most people never even get past. It's a wonderful thing. So you know how it goes, you know the whole routine, but in case you're new here, this is where you settle in and get comfortable. Whether you're here to doze off and fall asleep, maybe you're here just to hang out and uh get away from the busy world, that's cool too. Whatever the case, make sure you've got everything you need at your fingertips. A cold bottle of water, hot cup of tea, extra pillow, weighted blanket, perhaps. I've heard that there's some weighted blankets that don't heat you up so much, so they're not so bad in the summertime. But anyway, whatever you need, just make sure you're ready to go. Your listening device is set at that perfect volume, and once you're in that perfect position, you got your feet up, you got your pillow all squished up in the right shape, give yourself a really good stretch. Reach into your arms and legs, into the fingers and toes, and then wiggle your fingers and toes and release that stretch. And then feel all that relaxation just automatically kick in. It is so awesome. Follow that up with a couple of good deep productive breaths. Let's do that new thing we've been doing. Inhale to about the count of four, hold it for about two or three seconds, inhale again just really quick, top it off, hold it again for another second or so, and then exhale to about the count of six, and that whole sequence where you inhale, hold it, kind of top it off with another little quick inhale, hold it for another second or two, and then do a slow exhale. That does an amazing reset in the moment, and when you're trying to fall asleep, game over, you're gonna be out like a light. So, before you're totally out cold, I just want to remind you, check out comfortingvoice.com. That's where all of our links can be found there, including our buy me a coffee. And we just had somebody tip on the buy me a coffee, so a big shout out and a big thank you to Vicky. Thank you so much, I appreciate you, and thanks for joining the fun. Oh my gosh, amazing. So yeah, that's I I've used Buy Me a Coffee because now it's a trusted brand, everyone's heard of it, and that's a great way to support the show. A hundred percent of your contribution goes straight into the operating costs. Thank you so much, and oh here comes Baxter. Okay, he's on my foot. Alright, next Well when Emmy was down here being very strange a little bit ago, I had already pulled the tea tag and the fortune cookie slip because she was also getting just a little bit territorial over the cigar box. She always does. She's such a strange little bird. Okay, so your tea tag for tonight. People who live in their own truth are happy. I like that. And your fortune cookie slip. Someone in your life needs a letter from you. That's an interesting one. Someone in your life needs a letter from you. And the lucky numbers off of the back of the fortune cookie slip three, eighteen, twenty-four, twenty-six, twenty-eight, and forty-one. Good luck if you play number games. I hope you win big, or at least win something. And we'll get these into the archive receptacle. I don't know what I'm gonna do with all of these in the archive receptacle. We might just dump them back into the cigar box and go again once we deplete the supply. I don't know. See what happens. So we know that Vicky has been joining the fun. Let's see who else has been joining the fun. So the next three listener locations on our join the fun segment tonight starts off with Afghanistan. Afghanistan is home to some of the oldest trade routes in the world connecting cultures and ideas across Asia for thousands of years. Afghanistan is famous for its pomegranates, which have been cultivated there for centuries and are prized for their flavor. Oh my gosh, I love pomegranates. Afghanistan has a long tradition of carpet weaving, with intricate designs and craftsmanship passed down through generations. So if you're joining the fund from Afghanistan, you represent connection, craftsmanship, and traditions that have endured across centuries of change. Next on our listener base location list is Peru. Peru is home to the world's highest navigable lake where communities have lived and traveled on the water for generations. Peru is the birthplace of the potato and is home to more than four thousand native varieties, more potato diversity than anywhere on Earth. Is there anyone from Idaho? How do you feel about that? And Peru gave the world several important food crops, including tomatoes and quinoa, helping shape diets far beyond its borders. So if you're joining the fund from Peru, you represent resourcefulness, nourishment, and a country whose gifts have helped feed the world for generations. That's awesome. And last on our list for tonight is Croatia. Croatia has over a thousand islands along its coastline, creating one of the most intricate shorelines in Europe. Croatia is home to a unique sea organ, an instrument that uses sea waves to create music naturally. The neck tie traces its origins to Croatian soldiers whose style of wearing cloth around the neck eventually inspired the modern tie. That's interesting. So if you're joining the fun from Croatia, you represent ingenuity, harmony with nature, and the surprising ability to influence everyday life around the world. That's so much fun. Next Tuesday we will explore the next three listener based locations on the list. Thanks for joining the fun, everybody. Now if you've got a minute I've got a minute, Baxter has a minute. Let's see what Lon sent in this week for Got A Minute. We have shared information on love, kindness, sharing itself, happiness, joy. Allow me to touch on the concept of peace. We often think of peace as some large looming thing that we must chase as a nation, as a globe. Peace is actually in the very quiet moments. Peace comes when we are faced with some sort of anxiety, whether that be the car broke down, the dog got sick, the water heater broke, somebody cut us off, pick one. When those anxieties rise is when we need to secure peace. Take a second, a moment, to breathe in that fore count that we've spoken of. Hold it for six seconds and exhale through pursed lips while saying I will have peace this moment. It is in this very moment that peace exists, and a number of those throughout the day will draw you back to your peaceful place. In fact, it can begin every single morning, first thing, just as you open your eyes, do the same thing for a count in, hold it, and tell yourself I will have peace. This will be my peaceful day. That will set you up for ready a peaceful day. Thrive. Thank you, Lawn. Oh my gosh, he's awesome. I love all his clips. And he just keeps sending them and sending them. I have a huge backlog of clips we haven't even heard yet, and he's still sending them in regularly. He's just so amazing. Alright, thank you so much, Lawn, for helping us all thrive. Now, did you look at the date on the calendar? Today is the first Tuesday of the month. That means we are gonna explore our new year resolutions that are not new year resolutions. Our ongoing effort to make our own lives better in some small way, therefore reducing our own stress levels and feeling better about ourselves in some way. And it doesn't have to be drastic and it doesn't have to be dramatic. It just needs to do awesome stuff for you. That's it. Awesome stuff. Okay, so I just wanted to let you know my efforts are always ongoing, ever changing, and sometimes I kinda, you know, sometimes I let off of one for a few days and then I pick it back up, and then I I try not to feel guilty about that. So as long as you just keep moving forward, keep it in the back of your head, and you know, try to continue making good habits for yourself, whatever it was. Big, small, you know, challenging, easy. I suggest trying to keep it easy and then you know, build on that. So I've been trying to eat a little bit better, I've been trying to move a little bit more, which I've been failing miserably at. And then I've been trying to change my attitude a little bit. I've been doing the organizational skills around the house, try to put stuff away when I use it so I don't have as much in the way of house cleaning. That's been very helpful. And let's just talk about a few things that I think is just beneficial for anyone. They're easy to do, they'll improve your life, and it's just something you can kind of see if it works for you. If you're playing along with the challenge, the you do you challenge. I mentioned this, was it last month or was it the month before? I'm not sure when I mentioned this. It's kind of like curating your social media diet. And we always hear about people, well, I'm just gonna take a total break from social media. If that works for you, go for it. Many times it's not really realistic. People keep in touch that way, sometimes you run your business that way, all sorts of stuff, and then it becomes this negativity trap on the side, and you get conflicted. So I have a more healthy and practical approach, and it's kind of like treating social media like a garden. Think of it like not bulldozing the garden. You just need to pull the weeds and plant more of the stuff you really want there. And some interesting facts and trivia. What are you doing? Come here. Um, Baxter is under the table playing with the bottom of the table for some reason. It's plastic, I don't know what he's doing, but you may hear some weird noises. Birds are weird. Okay, so back to what we were saying about social media. Here's some trivia. Research consistently finds that how people use social media matters more than how much they use it. So passive doom scrolling is absolutely linked to worse mood and higher stress levels. If you use it with purpose, like for learning, hobbies, inspiration, maintaining friendships, this is going to produce much better outcomes with your mood and stress levels. Human brains naturally pay attention to negative information more than positive information. We've mentioned that also on the podcast, and there's a label for it. Psychologists call it the negativity bias. And social media algorithms notice what captures your attention even if you don't like it. So every click, every pause, every comment, and every share teaches the algorithm what to show you next. So think about that. If you're running into stuff that triggers you, that gets you angry, gets you fired up, whatever the topic is, think about that. So here's my personal proposal for an experiment that you should try. Think of every time you just scroll past something without pausing. If you mute something, if you hide something, or if you unfollow something, think of it like a vote. And anytime you remove negative content or the content that triggers you, or you don't want to see it, it's not nurturing you in some way. So every time you remove the outrage content, you teach the algorithm show me less stress. Okay. So every post is gonna have a little X and three little dots in the upper right hand corner. And if you click the dots, you can put not interested, interested, you can hide the post, you can unfollow totally there. Um you have options. The X will just not show it and it'll just shut it off, so that signals stuff. So you do have options on Facebook. Consider that. What I've been doing is I've been finding stuff that I find interesting, and it doesn't even have to be a hobby that you personally engage in, but if you find something interesting or it makes you smile, it's funny in a good way, you know, engage with it. I've been finding really fun miniatures, um, people that do miniature art. I've found some really bizarre puzzle groups that I don't really sit and put together puzzles, but some of the ones that people do are just amazing to me. And they're the the level of how hard they are, crazy. So I just find this real benign stuff that's not negative and it doesn't induce negative comments from people or anything like that. And I tell you what, my attitude is changing for the better because that's all I'm really exposed to. So you don't tend to fixate on it as much, you don't take in as much of it, and when you do take something in, you kind of, oh wow, that was nice, and you move on with your day, and you don't really get deep into it like the negative stuff tends to produce sometimes. I also found a couple really, really, really interesting music creators, and they have very interesting stuff, and I can get like a little one-minute video that demonstrates a high level of talent, and it's really cool, and I move on. Just stuff like that. Those are just examples of what I do. Find something that is interesting to you and positive. A couple more tips is to keep notifications only for things that really matter. Mute people you care about, but whose content drains your energy. Now that's something interesting to think about. We always think in terms of harsh stuff. Oh just, you know, unfriend them or block them. Well, what if it's a friend and you really don't want to do that, but they're kind of draining? You can just make sure that their stuff doesn't show up on your newsfeed. Simple as that, you don't have to unfriend them. And a couple ways you can identify what's healthy or unhealthy for you. Ask yourself some stuff like did this post improve my day? Did I learn anything useful? Will this matter next week? Will this matter a year from now? Just remember you don't have to walk away from social media. You just need to change up the digital environment so it's a little bit more positive, and this is gonna change your mindset faster than changing your circumstances. You would not believe how much it's gonna change your mood. Make a conscious effort, see what it does for you. You can always go back and follow that garbage anytime. Think of it that way. Okay, so I sit at a desk a lot, a lot, a lot. I'm 58 years old, not good for me. I have been an office professional for decades. So I'm getting to the point I have to really make myself move. And I have inflammation and other stuff, plus, at you know, when you hit over 40, you have to approach stuff differently. Sometimes we all have aches and pains, and we can't do that crazy stuff we could do when we were younger, and you can't, you shouldn't be. So we think of exercise and it terrifies us. It's like, nope, we shut down. I'm trying to think of ways to exercise, move my body in a healthy way that's not going to be uh a drain on my energy or stress levels in the form of a physical stress, and I want it to do beneficial things for me, right? So, first off, there's a lot of commercials and stuff out there, infomercials, hardcore, no pain, no gain. You have to put your all into it, especially around New Year's, you see all the gym memberships and people working out like crazy people. Just remember, you don't have to do that, and especially over 40, that may not be good for you. You can get plenty of enjoyment and benefit from something low key that feels good and doesn't hurt, okay? And doesn't leave you feeling like you're gonna die at the end of the session. We don't need to torture ourselves, people. So I'm gonna tell you a couple things that I'm doing, um, and these are just a couple, but I feel like they're very, very easy for anybody out there. First is walking. Walking is one of the most studied forms of exercise in the world, and walking supports heart health, circulation, mobility, and balance. Walking can help maintain muscle mass as we age. Short walks can improve your mood, it can improve your stress levels, and researchers have found that walking often improves creative thinking and problem solving, and walking outdoors provides additional mental boost compared to sitting indoors. Why it matters? Muscle is going to naturally decline with our age unless we use it. Balance naturally declines with age unless we practice it. Walking maintains both. And regular movement such as walking can help your joints feeling more mobile. It's low impact, anyone can do it, you don't need special equipment, you don't need a gym membership, and there's no athletic ability necessary. So here's some tiny movement ideas, just some tips. You don't have to make it a big ordeal. Go around the block, plug into a podcast and go for a walk for 15 minutes and catch up that way. Or use it as an excuse to catch up on your podcasts. Take a five or ten minute walk after a meal. Every meal, just five, ten minutes go outside up and down the street to the corner and back. It's very beneficial for your digestion, actually, just walking. If you're on a phone call or something and you have a house or an environment where you can kind of walk around while you're on the phone, do that. It's movement during the day that maybe you would otherwise do sitting. Another way to get a little bit of movement is just park at the other end of a parking lot, and that's going to give you a little bit of just built-in exercise that way. Take your dog for a walk. It is excellent for bonding with your dog, and dogs need it. So if you've got a dog, you've got a built-in method of exercise, and here again, you don't have to make it mega sessions. Go for 10-15 minutes twice a day. The other exercise idea I have for you is actually very pleasant. I enjoy it, and I have forgotten how much I enjoy it. Qi Gong. If you don't know what it is and you're familiar with something like Tai Chi, it's very similar, but it's it's kind of you're incorporating energy and breathing into very slow movements and postures. And this is a centuries old practice. It combines gentle movement, here again, breathing, body awareness, and focus, and then here again you're going to be imagining energy flow also in some cases. This is very low impact. It is incredibly easy on the joints, it's adaptable to every fitness level. You don't have to be totally flexible, you don't need athletic skill, and it can be done standing or modified. Benefits can include improved balance, body awareness, reduced physical tension, improved mobility, and the increased feeling of calm and focus. It will improve your mood. It's approachable. You do not feel exhausted when you're done. And since it's actually very pleasant to do, it's very easy, it feels good, it's something that you might continue and you might stick with. And then it can lead into different forms of exercise in this direction, like Tai Chi is excellent also. So explore that as well. Now I've got a whole bunch of different uh Qi Gong DVDs, and I enjoy those a lot. One of the series that I like, the expert that presents it, his name is Lee Holden, so you can look that up on Amazon. And sometimes you can find used discs pretty inexpensive. I found one that has a 30-day challenge, and the challenges are only like seven minutes. Really awesome stuff. Another one that I've had for years that I really, really, really like is a fellow named Matthew Cohen, and it's the Qi Gong Fire and Water with Matthew Cohen. That one has a morning and evening practice. The morning practice is the fire, and it will kind of energize you for the day, and then the water will calm you down and help you get ready to sleep at night. It'll calm your energy. So that one's a fun one to do, actually. It's interesting. And here again, the movements are very easy. You'll feel really good afterwards. And then the last thing I wanted to touch on. When it comes to any of this, sometimes it's very hard to get started because we have a natural tendency to want to tell people about it. We want people's approval. We want kind of that pat on the back, maybe some attention, maybe not. Everyone's different. But sometimes all of our friends and stuff, they're just not gonna find it as big of a deal as we do when we make a personal change. That affects us. So it's a big deal. Even if it's a little change, it affects us. And the truth is, other people may not have that same level of excitement or consider it as big of a deal as you do. So with that in mind, you've got to be your own encouragement team sometimes and think of it as being a little bit more gratifying in the process. A lot of us feel like nobody notices the little stuff we do. Here we are doing all these great things to make our lives better, and ultimately other people's lives around us if you live in the same space and no one's noticing, right? So just know that everyone's very hyper-focused on their own problems, and it's not a personal thing. It's never a personal thing. If you've got good solid family and friends, they're gonna be happy for you, but they just might not be able to relate as to why it's a big deal. So celebrate your own wins and take notice of when those changes take place. Have that luxury of seeing how far you've come. Even if it's a little ways and you're at the beginning of some little effort journey, notice your progress, pat yourself on the back, and allow yourself to feel and see the benefits of it. Even if it's like I said, picking up something every day, tidying up a little bit every day, pat yourself on the back for that. A lot of people don't have the energy even for the little stuff. And then be your own witness. So at the end of the day, ask yourself, like when you're brushing your teeth or something, what did I do right today? Was there anything I just I totally nailed it? What did I do right? What am I really proud of? What little step forward did I accomplish that's gonna keep me moving forward? Figure that out. What did you benefit from something you did for you? Notice your own efforts and then take just a minute to just enjoy the fact that you're doing something great for yourself, whatever it is. Feel good about yourself. The brain naturally wants to remember your mistakes more than your successes, and if you intentionally notice progress, it helps balance that tendency out. So you don't hyperfixate on your own faults, you don't hyperfixate on your own mistakes as much, and you start noticing and appreciating your own victories, your own successes. It's much like a gratitude journal in that respect. I mentioned this, was it last Tuesday or the Tuesday before that? A lot of times, motivation needs action to actually occur. So if you kind of force yourself to do something, your motivation will actually follow that action. So don't wait to feel motivated. Well, it's not the right day to start. Just start something and then start taking notice of it, or even acknowledge the fact you did it until there's something to take notice of. So put on your walking shoes. Open that document you've been putting off. Put that thing away that's collecting dust. Dust. Put the dishes in the dishwasher. Run a broom really quick over the kitchen floor, just really quick. You know, look at the clock, challenge yourself to see how much organizing or tidying up you can get in two or three minutes. Like just two or three. You're probably gonna find you're gonna get ten minutes worth of stuff done and be impressed with yourself. So just remember starting is usually the hardest part, so just start. Your momentum is gonna follow. And then also keep promises to yourself. Remember that self-confidence isn't built just by the success of the thing, it's built by trust. So if you tell yourself you're gonna walk for five minutes, do it. If you tell yourself you're gonna drink more water, do it. Find a way to make it happen and stick to it. Think of it this way. When other people make you promises and then break them, a lot of times there's a disappointment, a frustration involved, maybe even an anger involved. Don't do that to yourself. Always hold true to yourself. Even if it's a tiny little promise, you'll appreciate it. And then last but not least, remember that big changes rarely arrive all at once. More often they show up as tiny decisions repeated quietly. So then when you stack enough of those tiny moments together, eventually you look back and realize, wow, something's different. Not because of one huge breakthrough, but because of a whole bunch of tiny little efforts all strung together over, you know, a week or a month or a couple of months, whatever that thing is that you embraced. And then kick back, settle in, put your feet up, make sure you've got your bottle of water, your hot cup of tea, pat yourself on the back, and enjoy that progress. Do something for yourself to acknowledge how far you've come with that thing, how well you're doing with it, maybe you've taken on a couple more things, because now you know that wow, you get it done when you put your mind to it. Just keep riding that wave. And you know what? It it helps with your inner peace, it helps with your mood, it helps with your stress levels. Even one little thing that you do for yourself, just go do it. You'll appreciate it. And especially if it's like health-related, like just walking a little bit more every day, or eating just a little bit better, making those little shifts. The more you do it, the more you keep that mindset, you find better ways, you make challenges for yourself, you're gonna be feeling great about yourself, and there's no better feeling in the world. Take notice of it and realize, gosh, a little tiny effort every day, a tiny little change every day was really easy. I got into some great habits, and I am just on top of the world because of it. Whatever that is, make it a big deal to you because it really is. And then get back after it the next day. You got this, and we believe in you. That's why we're here every week. Alright, that's all I got for you this week. I gotta get this edited and into your eardrums. I'll catch you on Friday for our vintage bedtime stories. We're on chapter two of Alice Through the Looking Glass. I'll see you then. Sleep tight, good night, and bye bye.