S3 E31 Dee and Dum Steal the Show in Chapter 4 of Through the Looking Glass

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Good evening and welcome to the Comforting Voice podcast. I'm your host, Shasta Ray, and I'm joined in the studio by Emmy the Minimicaw. She's she's here on the desk with me. She is in rare form. Oh my gosh, she is just getting into everything. And the giant dog is just outside the studio door. He had a cookie and is breathing like Darth Vader. So, oh my gosh, welcome to Friday. Now, I have some very good news regarding the giant dog. Not sure. Fingers crossed. I may have found a solution to some of his anti-breathing problems, or whatever whatever you call it. Anyway, I uh am gonna see if it's a possibility for him to get some correction done on his lynx and maybe extend his life a little bit. But it's kind of a crazy surgery and it's not without risks, so we have to see if he's eligible. Keep your fingers crossed and send out some great energy for the giant dog. It would be nice to get a few more miles out of the old boy, you know? Alright, now as for the pickle chicken, if you are interested in seeing the pickle chicken, uh, she has her own YouTube channel, so you can check that out, and I've got the link down in the show notes. You can also just do a search on YouTube for Voice of the Parrot, and it should bring my channel up. Just since I started telling all you guys about this, I've had a few edits, so we'll see how this goes. I may have to just take her upstairs. She is just supercharged over the cigar box tonight. So I'll see how this pans out. You may get some more Birdie ASMR. You may get none. I already got bit once, because I apparently it's her cigar box now. Oh dear. Emmy, we gotta read the story, girlfriend. So Emmy, what are you doing? And just like that, through the magic of audio editing, Emmy is back upstairs in the bird room, and I am alone in the studio. Yep, the bird got kicked out. Amazing, isn't it? Wow. Alright, so if you would like to see her causing trouble tonight prior to when I started recording, I am gonna be posting a video of her on the YouTube channel, Voice of the Parrot, and here again I'll try to put a link down in the show notes. And she was just throwing tea tags and fortune cookie slips around. She was in the cigar box going crazy, and um yeah, she was out of control. She was having fun. So unfortunately, when you have an animal that has a pair of wire cutters as part of its face, you don't want it to have too much fun because they get overstimulated and they bite you when they are of the pickle chicken persuasion. Her species of macaw is extra spicy, and everything that can be communicated they do with their mouth, and sometimes it's with a side of violence, sometimes it's not. So when she gets overstimulated, she has to go back upstairs. And here we are. Check it out again. That's YouTube Voice of the Parrot. And I will try to remember to put a link on the comforting voice Facebook page. So um there's another easy way to see what the pickle chicken looks like. Oh my gosh. So let's just get down to business. What's next on the agenda? Oh yes. Let's take a minute, get you comfortable and ready to start your weekend. You can't have a great weekend without a good night's sleep. So get into that perfect, perfect sweet spot however you want to spend time with me tonight. Are you gonna doze off? Are you in your easy chair with your feet up? Do whatever it is that you need to do to get comfortable. Make sure everything is at your fingertips, beverage of choice, bottle of water, whatever you need. While you're at it, make sure your listening device is set at that perfect, perfect volume for you. That way you're not fidgeting with it later. And when you're ready, engage in one of those amazing, amazing productive stretches. Reach into your arms, your legs, your hands, your feet, your fingers, your toes. Engage all of those muscles, stretch all of that, wiggle your fingers and toes before you release it, and then just let go of all that tension, and it's gonna take the day's tension with it. Oh my gosh, it's amazing. If you want to, add in a couple of shoulder rolls, and then follow that up with a couple good deep productive breaths of air. We're gonna do our new little trick we've been doing. Inhale to about the count of four, hold it to about the count of three, top it off with another tiny little inhale, just hold it for another couple seconds, and then exhale very slowly to about the count of six, eight if you can, and you are gonna be ready to doze off, relax, whatever you're here for. It's a good thing. All of that put together is just the most awesome way ever to release stress and tension and any kind of lingering anxieties and that funk that kind of sticks to us throughout the day and keeps us from falling asleep easy because it's rattling around in our minds. That helps calm all that down. It calms down the nervous system and you're gonna be asleep. Maybe you're already starting to forget what I'm talking about. Wow, holy cow! Alright, what is next? Oh yes, before you are completely out cold and sawing logs, let's just put a gentle reminder into your subconscious there so you don't forget. Maybe those of you who are wide awake or still scrolling on your phones or something, don't forget to visit comfortingvoice.com. That's our headquarters. You can find all of the episodes there. You can find a link for the Thrive Gear, for the coloring book universe. Oh my gosh. I'm gonna be adding to it, changing it, improving it as time goes on. And yeah, I know I keep saying that, and I mean it, but I have had some life-changing occurrences the past I don't know how long it's been. Like I said in our last episode, I'm gonna be telling you all about that on our upcoming Tuesday mishmash. And it is a follow-up to a couple of very popular episodes, so you don't want to miss it. Next, I like to tell you guys about other podcasts that are interesting to fall asleep to, or maybe great to fall asleep to in the right capacity. So, my personal preference is a natural speaking voice type of podcast. I ran across two very, very, very interesting ones recently, and I've been kind of checking them out, and they work. So the first one is kind of off the wall. It's kind of a serialized story, but not really. You can jump in anywhere in the whole scheme of the podcast, and all of the episodes have the same basic theme, but they're different, and it's called Welcome to Night Vale. Uh, four words. Welcome to Night Vale, V-A-L-E. The podcast summary is a twice-monthly community update for the small desert town of Night Vale where every conspiracy theory is true. Turn on your radio and hide. It's an ongoing radio show. Start with the current episode and you'll catch on in no time, or go to episode one if you want to binge listen. And it's really kind of interesting. It's not really a triggering content kind of a thing. It's like a small town AM radio bulletin hour or something for the community with all sorts of weird stuff, and a lot of it's just off the wall random stuff. It's entertaining, and it's kind of just full of nonsense and silliness. Your mind kind of disconnects and you find yourself dozing off pretty quickly. And the other one I have found that's odd, and I'm not sure if they're still putting out episodes, it doesn't look like they've put anything out since uh mid-January. It's called Bore Me to Sleep Unintelligible Lecture. The summary for this podcast is this series helps those who have a hard time falling asleep. This show provides random ramblings on boring subjects to help you sleep. Don't bother trying to understand the scripts as they have been randomly generated using machine learning. The effect is a boring lecture you can't understand even if you wanted to. And it's very, very interesting in that capacity. It sounds like a tech manual or something, but none of it makes sense. It's just a bunch of words put into sentences and it sounds like something, but it's not. So if you're looking for something with a natural speaking voice that's gonna actually really lull you to sleep in a crazy effective way, those are two options for you. Welcome to Night Vale and Bore Me to Sleep Unintelligible Lectures. Have fun with those. I would love to hear your input. And if you've got a suggestion for another podcast that's non-triggering and it helps you fall asleep in a really delightful way, sort of in the same theme by way of talking, stories, subject matter, that sort of a thing. Again, our website is comfortingvoice.com, and you can just fill out the contact form, send a message really quick that way, or if you're on a device that has a microphone, like your phone or your tablet, you can click the little microphone down in the corner and leave a voicemail. Doesn't cost you a thing, and anybody anywhere on the planet can do either of those right at your fingertips. Here again, it's part of the website. Would love to hear from you. What are your suggestions? And then while you're at it, if you've got a suggestion for our next book, we are just whizzing right along on our current book, so I would love to hear your suggestions for our next book. Needs to be in the public domain. Okie dokie. Let's see what Alice is up to tonight. It is the chapter we have all been waiting for. This is iconic, this is fun. Oh my gosh, we are reading Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. We're on chapter four, titled Tweedle Dumb and Tweedledee. They were standing under a tree, each with an arm around the other's neck, and Alice knew which was which in a moment because one of them had dumb embroidered on his collar, and the other D. I suppose they've each got Tweedle around the back of the collar, she said to herself. They stood so still that she quite forgot that they were alive, and she was just looking around to see if the word Tweedle was written at the back of each collar, when she was startled by a voice coming from the one marked dumb. If you think we're wax works, he said, you ought to pay, you know. Wax works weren't made to be looked at for nothing nohow. Contrary, added the one marked Dee, if you think we're alive, you ought to speak. I'm sure I'm very sorry, was all Alice could say, for the words of the old song kept ringing through her head like the ticking of a clock, and she could hardly help from saying them out loud. Tweedledum and Tweedled Dee agreed to have a battle, for Tweedledum, said Tweedledee, had spoiled his nice new rattle, just then flew down a monstrous crow as black as a tar barrel, which frightened both the heroes so they quite forgot their quarrel. I know what you're thinking about, said Tweedledum, but it isn't so nohow. Contrarywise, continued Tweedledee, if it was so it might be, and if it were so it would be, but as it isn't, it ain't, and that's logic. I was thinking, Alice said very politely, which is the best way out of this wood? It's getting so dark. Would you tell me please? But the little men only looked at each other and grinned. They looked so exactly like a couple of great schoolboys that Alice couldn't help pointing her finger at Tweedledum and saying First Boy. No how Tweedledum cried out briskly, and shut his mouth up again with a snap. Next boy, said Alice, passing on to Tweedledee, though she felt quite certain he would only shout out contrario wise, and so he did. You've been wrong, cried Tweedledum. The first thing in a visit is to say how do you do and shake hands? And here the two brothers gave each other a hug, and then they held out the two hands that were free to shake hands with her. Alice did not like shaking hands with either of them first, for fear of hurting the other one's feelings, so as the best way out of the difficulty, she took hold of both hands at once. The next moment they were dancing round in a ring. This seemed quite natural, she remembered afterwards, and she was not even surprised to hear music playing. It seemed to come from the tree under which they were dancing, and it was done, as well as she could make out, by the branches rubbing one across the other like fiddles and fiddlesticks. But it certainly was funny, Alice said afterwards when she was telling her sister the history of all this, to find myself singing here we go round the mulberry bush. I don't know when I began it, but somehow I felt as if I'd been singing it a long, long time. The other two dancers were fat and very soon out of breath. Four times around is enough for one dance, Tweedledum panted out, and they left off dancing as suddenly as they had begun. The music stopped at the same moment. Then they let go of Alice's hands and stood looking at her for a minute. There was a rather awkward pause as Alice didn't know how to begin a conversation with people she had just been dancing with. It would never do to say how do you do now? she said to herself. We seem to have got beyond that somehow. I hope you're not too much tired, she said at last. No how, and thank you very much for asking, said Tweedledum. So much obliged, said Tweedledee. You like poetry? Yes, pretty well. Some poetry, Alice said doubtfully. Would you tell me which road leads out of the wood? Which shall I repeat to her? said Tweedledee, looking around at Tweedledum with great solemn eyes, not noticing Alice's question. The walrus and the carpenter's longest, Tweedledum replied, giving his brother an affectionate hug. Tweedledee began instantly. The sun was shining. Here Alice ventured to interrupt him. Um if it's very long, she said as politely as she could, would you please tell me first which road Tweedledee smiled gently and began again. The sun was shining on the sea, shining with all his might. He did his very best to make the billows smooth and bright. And this was odd because it was the middle of the night. The moon was shining sulkily because she thought the sun had got no business to be there after the day was done. It's very rude of him, she said, to come and spoil the fun. The sea was wet as wet could be, the sands were dry as dry. You could not see a cloud because no cloud was in the sky, no birds were flying overhead, there were no birds to fly. The walrus and the carpenter were walking close at hand. They wept like anything to see such quantities of sand. If this were only cleared away, they said, it would be grand. If seven maids with seven mops swept it for half a year, do you suppose the walrus said that they could get it clear? I doubt it, said the carpenter, and shed a bitter tear. Oysters, come and walk with us, the walrus did beseech. A pleasant walk a pleasant talk along the briny beach. We cannot do with more than four to give a hand to each. The eldest oyster looked at him, but never a word he said. The eldest oyster winked his eye and shook his heavy head, meaning to say he did not choose to leave the oyster bed, but four young oysters hurried up, all eager for the treat, their coats were brushed, their faces washed, their shoes were clean and neat, and this was odd because you know, they hadn't any feet. Four other oysters followed them, and yet another four, and thick and fast they came at last, and more and more and more, all hopping through the frothy waves, and scrambling to the shore. The walrus and the carpenter walked on a mile or so, and then they rested on a rock, conveniently low, and all the little oysters stood and waited in a row. The time has come, the walrus said to talk of many things, of shoes and ships, and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings. But wait a bit, the oysters cried before we have our chat, for some of us are out of breath, and all of us are fat. No hurry, said the carpenter, and they thanked him very much for that. A loaf of bread, the walrus said, is what we chiefly need. Pepper and vinegar besides are very good indeed. Now if you're ready, oysters, dear, we can begin to feed. But not on us, the oysters cried, turning a little blue. After such kindness that would be a dismal thing to do. The night is fine, the walrus said. Do you admire the view? It was kind of you to come, and you are very nice. The carpenter said nothing but cut us another slice. I wish you were not so deaf. I've had to ask you twice. It seems a shame the walrus said to play them such a trick after we've brought them out so far, and made them trot so quick. The carpenter said nothing but the butter's spread too thick. I weep for you, the walrus said, I deeply sympathize. With sobs and tears he sorted out those of the largest size, holding his pocket handkerchief before his streaming eyes. Oh oysters, said the carpenter, you've had a pleasant run. Shall we be trotting home again? But answer came there none. And that was scarcely odd because they'd eaten everyone. I like the walrus best, said Alice, because you see he was a little sorry for the poor oysters. He ate more than the carpenter, though, said Tweedledee. You see he held his handkerchief in front so that the carpenter wouldn't count how many he took, contrario wise. That was mean, Alice said indignantly. Then I like the carpenter best, if he didn't eat so many as the walrus. But he ate as many as he could get, said Tweedledum. This was a puzzler. After a pause, Alice began again. Well they were both very unpleasant characters. Here she checked herself in some alarm at something that sounded to her like the puffing of a large steam engine in the wood near them, though she feared it was a lot more likely to be a wild beast. Are there any lions or tigers around here? she asked timidly. It's only the red king snoring, said Tweedledee. Come and look at him, the brothers cried, and they each took one of Alice's hands and led her to where the king was sleeping. Isn't he a lovely sight? said Tweedledum. Alice couldn't say honestly that he was. He had a tall red nightcap on with a tassel, and he was lying crying out. crumpled up in a sort of untidy heap, snoring loudly. Fit to snore his head off, as Tweedledum remarked. I'm afraid he'll catch cold with lying in the damp grass, said Alice, who was a very thoughtful little girl. He's dreaming now, said Tweedledee. And what do you think he's dreaming about? Alice said Nobody can guess that. Why about you? Tweedledee exclaimed, clapping his hands triumphantly. And if he had left off dreaming about you, where do you suppose you'd be? Um where I am now, of course, said Alice. Not you, Tweedledee retorted contemptuously. You'd be nowhere. Why you're only a sort of thing in his dream. If that there king was to wake, added Tweedledum, you'd go out bang, just like a candle. I wouldn't, Alice exclaimed indignantly. Besides, if I'm only a sort of thing in his dream, what are you I should like to know? Ditto, said Tweedledum. Ditto Ditto, cried Tweedledee. He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn't help saying Shush, you'll wake him making so much noise. Well it's no use your talking about waking him, said Tweedledum, when you're only one of the things in his dream. You know very well you're not real. I am real, said Alice and began to cry. You won't make yourself a bit real by crying, Tweedlede remarked. There's nothing to cry about. Well if I wasn't real, Alice said, half laughing through her tears it all seemed so ridiculous. I shouldn't be able to cry. I hope you don't suppose those are real tears, Tweedledum interrupted in a tone of great contempt. I know they're talking nonsense, Alice thought to herself, and it's foolish to cry about it. So she brushed away her tears and went on as cheerfully as she could. At any rate I'd better be getting out of the wood, for really it's coming on very dark. Do you think it's gonna rain? Tweedledum spread a large umbrella over himself and his brother and looked up into it. No, I don't think it is, he said at least not under here no how it may rain outside It may if it wants to, said Tweedledee. We've no objection, contrario wise Selfish things, thought Alice, and she was just going to say goodnight and leave them when Tweedledum sprang out from under the umbrella and seized her by the wrist. Do you see that? he said in a voice choking with passion, and his eyes grew large and yellow all in a moment as he pointed with a trembling finger at a small white thing lying under a tree. It's only a rattle, Alice said after careful examination of the little white thing. Not a rattlesnake, you know, she added hastily thinking that he might be frightened. Only an old rattle quite old and broken. I knew it was cried Tweedledum, beginning to stamp about wildly and tear out his hair. It's spoiled, of course Here he looked at Tweedledee, who immediately sat down on the ground and tried to hide himself under the umbrella. Alice laid her hand upon his arm and said in a soothing tone You needn't be so angry about an old rattle. But it isn't old Tweedledum cried in a greater fury than ever It's new, I tell you I bought it yesterday my nice new rattle and his voice rose to a perfect scream. All this time Tweedledee was trying his best to fold up in the umbrella with himself in it, which was such an extraordinary thing to do that it quite took off Alice's attention from the angry brother, but he couldn't quite succeed and it ended in his rolling over bundled up in the umbrella with only his head out, and there he lay opening and shutting his mouth and his large eyes looking more like a fish than anything else, Alice thought. Of course you agree to have a battle, Tweedledums said in a calmer tone. I suppose so the other sulkily applied as he crawled out of the umbrella. Only she must help us to dress up, you know. So the two brothers went off hand in hand into the wood, and returned in a minute with their arms full of things, such as bolsters, blankets, hearth rugs, tablecloths, dish covers, and coal scuttles. I hope you're good at hand pinning and tying strings, Tweedledum remarked. Every one of these things has got to go on somehow or another. Alice said afterwards she had never seen such a fuss made about anything in all her life, the way those two bustled about and the quantity of things they put on, and the trouble they gave her tying strings and fastening buttons really they'll be more like bundles of old clothes than anything else by the time they're ready, she said to herself as she arranged a bolster around the neck of Tweedledee to keep his head from being cut off, as he said. You know, he added very gravely it's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in battle to get one's head cut off. Alice laughed out loud, but she managed to make it sound like she was coughing for fear of hurting his feelings. Do I look very pale? said Tweedledum, coming up to have his helmet tied on. He called it a helmet, though it certainly looked more like a saucepan. Well yes, a little, Alice replied gently. I'm very brave generally, he went on in a low voice, only today I happen to have a headache And I've got a toothache, said Tweedlede, who had overheard the remark I'm far worse off than you. Then you'd better not fight today, said Alice, thinking it a good opportunity to make peace. We must have a bit of a fight, but I don't care about going on long, said Tweedledum. What's the time now? Tweedledee looked at his watch and said Half past four. Let's fight till six and then have dinner, said Tweedledum. Very well, the other said rather sadly, and she can watch us only you'd better not come very close, he added. I generally hit everything I can see when I get really excited. And I hit everything within reach, cried Tweedledum, whether I can see it or not. Alice laughed. You must hit the trees pretty often, I should think, she said. Tweedledum looked around him with a satisfied smile. I don't suppose, he said, that there'll be a tree left standing by the time we've finished. And all about a rattle, said Alice, still hoping to make them a little ashamed of fighting for such a trifle thing. I shouldn't have minded it so much, said Tweedledum, if it hadn't been a new one. I wish the monstrous crow would come, thought Alice. There's only one sword, you know, Tweedledum said to his brother, but you can have the umbrella. It's quite as sharp, only we must begin quick. It's getting as dark as it can. And darker, said Tweedledee. It was getting dark so suddenly that Alice thought there must be a thunderstorm coming on. What a thick black cloud that is, she said, and how fast it comes. Why, I do believe it's got wings. It's the crew Tweedledum cried out in a voice of alarm, and the two brothers took to their heels and were out of sight in a moment. Alice ran a little way into the wood and stopped under a large tree. It can never get me here, she thought it's far too large to squeeze itself in among the trees, but I wish it wouldn't flap its wings so it makes quite a hurricane in the woods. Here's somebody's shawl being blown away. And that's the end of chapter four of Through the Looking Glass. We will be back next Friday for chapter 5. Oh my gosh, things are just as weird and wacky in this book as they were in the first book. I hope you're enjoying this story as much as I am or I hope you're sound asleep. Whatever the case, I hope you're off to a great start of your weekend. I'll see you back here on Tuesday for our regular ramble chat mishmash of goodness and until then sleep tight, good night and bye bye