S3 E37 Humpty Dumpty is in the House! Chapter 6 Through the Looking Glass

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Good evening! Welcome to the Comforting Voice Podcast. I'm your host Shasta Ray, and I'm joined in the studio by Emmy the Minimicaw, who's just going through some really weird antics right now. She's being silly. And the giant dog is taking a nap just outside the studio door, but I've got the door open. So, here again, you could hear the sweet sounds of sleeping dog. I don't know. My editing software does a pretty good job when I can capture ambient noises and filter those out. So it's been working pretty good. Emmy is about as spicy as it gets. She is hanging out being cute, and she has not seen the cigar box tonight, so that's a good thing. I think it keeps her a little bit more agreeable when she doesn't see that. How are you? Did you survive the week? Oh my gosh, I can't believe it was Friday. The week was just busy, it rolled around quickly. I'm gonna have a very, very, very full weekend. Holy cow, but I'm glad Friday night is here, because this is the highlight of my week and tonight is the chapter we've all been waiting for. Humpty Dumpty is in the house, people. Oh my gosh, don't get too excited. I know it's a big deal. It's like it's crazy. But you're gonna enjoy it, you're gonna doze off happy. The pickle chicken is having a good time. So before we get started on Humpty Dumpty, let's make sure you've got everything you've got going on and you're ready to go. So whether you're here to fall asleep, or if you're just gonna hang out and listen to the story, you know, take a load off for a little while and you've still got things to do for your evening or your day whenever you're listening, take a minute, make sure you're relaxed, get comfortable, make sure you've got everything you need at your fingertips, and that way you don't have to mess with it during the story. You know, this is where I kind of banter a little bit, I talk a little bit, the the bird gets a little bit rowdy in some fashion, like she is, and you know, you just generally have a few minutes to situate. And part of that, make sure that you've got your pillow just in that perfect position, the way you like it, so you don't have to mess with it and rustle around. You've got your teddy bear, you've got your favorite sleep mask, a bottle of water, maybe a fan going this time of year. I mentioned that last time. Whatever you need to make sure you are set up for a good night's rest, get that done right now. And when you're ready, engage in a really productive stretch. Reach through your arms and legs into your feet and your hands, fingers and toes, really engage everything really well, wiggle the fingers and toes and then release all of those muscles and release that stretch and let that relaxation just take over. Follow it up with at least two really good productive deep breaths of air. Inhale to about the count of four, hold it to about the count of three, top it off with another really quick inhale, hold it another second or two, and then exhale very slowly, as slowly as you can, about the count of eight. Ideally, sometimes six is what you get. Either is okay. Do that twice. Slow inhale, hold it, top it off, hold it a second or two, exhale very slowly, and you're gonna be ready to totally nod off. All of that stress from the day has just washed away. It's wonderful. You're ready to relax and have a good time. And before we get started, quick reminder check out the website comfortingvoice.com. I've updated it again, and I've put a link for the listener-based top 10 favorite episodes. So if you do a drop down on the episode link, you should see that there. And down along the bottom on the homepage where the player is, you'll see those buttons down there too. I've got the books, I've got the holiday stories. You can't go wrong. Got some playlists for you. While you're there, check out the coloring book Empire. I've got a link for my coloring books, and they will take you to my two different pen names on Amazon. You should be able to order those pretty much worldwide. And um, wherever Amazon sells coloring books, you should be able to get them. But they're the eight and a half by eight and a half popular size right now. It's the uh bold and easy style. I've got repeating patterns, I've got cute repeating patterns, I've got uh simply satisfying spaces. That is getting to be a fan favorite. I've got a Christmas themed line, and most of them not only come in a regular format, but they also come in a left hand edition where all of the images are on the left hand of the page spread. So it's a lot easier for the lefties out there. I don't know why nobody's done that very much. So comfortingvoice.com, check that out. Okay, the moment we've all been waiting for, I know you've been shaken in your shoes, I've been anxious, we've finally got here It's the night of Humpty Dumpty. Yes it is. Oh my gosh. So for those of you who are new and for those who have been following along, we are reading Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. Tonight we're on chapter six Humpty Dumpty However, the egg only got larger and larger and more and more human, and when she had come within a few yards of it she saw that it had eyes and a nose and mouth, and when she had come close to it she saw clearly it was Humpty Dumpty himself. It can't be anyone else, she said to herself. I'm as certain of it as if his name were written all over his face. It may have been written a hundred times easily on that enormous face. Humpty Dumpty was sitting with his legs crossed like a turk on top of a high wall, such a narrow one that Alice quite wondered how he could keep his balance, and as his eyes were steadily fixed on the opposite direction, and he didn't take the least notice of her, she thought he must be a stuffed figure after all. And how exactly like an egg he is, she said aloud, standing with her hands ready to catch him, for she was every moment expecting him to fall. It's very provoking, Humpty Dumpty said after a long silence, looking away from Alice as he spoke, to be called an egg. Very I said you looked like an egg, sir, Alice gently explained. And some eggs are very pretty, you know, she added, hoping to turn her remark into a sort of compliment. Some people, said Humpty Dumpty, looking away from her as usual, have no more sense than a baby. Alice didn't know what to say to this. It wasn't at all like conversation, she thought, as he never said anything to her. In fact, his last remark was evidently addressed to a tree, so she stood and softly repeated to herself Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty in his place again. That last line is much too long for the poetry, she added, almost out loud, forgetting that Humpty Dumpty would hear her. Don't stand there chattering to yourself like that, Humpty Dumpty said, looking at her for the first time. But tell me your name and your business. My name is Alice, but it's a stupid enough name, Humpty Dumpty interrupted impatiently. What does it mean? Must a name mean something? Alice asked doubtfully. Of course it must, Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh. My name means the shape I am, and a good handsome shape it is, too. With a name like yours, you might be any shape almost. Why do you sit here all alone? said Alice, not wishing to begin an argument. Why because there's nobody with me? cried Humpty Dumpty. Did you think I didn't know the answer to that? Ask another. Don't you think you'd be safer on the ground? Alice went on, not with any idea of making another riddle, but simply in her good natured anxiety for the strange creature. That wall is so very narrow. What tremendously easy riddles you ask? Humpty Dumpty growled out. Of course I don't think so. Why, if I ever did fall off, which there's no chance of, but if I did Here he pursed his lips and looked so solemn and grand that Alice could hardly help laughing. If I did fall, he went on, the king has promised me with his very own mouth to send all his horses and all his men, Alice interrupted rather unwisely. Now I declare that's too bad, Humpty Dumpty cried, breaking into a sudden passion. You've been listening at doors and behind trees and down chimneys, or you couldn't have known that. I haven't indeed, Alice said very gently. It's in a book. Ah, well, they may write such things in a book, Humpty Dumpty said in a calmer tone. That's what you call a history of England, that is. Now take a good look at me. I'm one that has spoken to a king I am. Mayhap you'll never see such another, and to show you I'm not proud, you may shake hands with me. And he grinned almost from ear to ear as he leaned forwards, and as nearly as possible fell off the wall in doing so, and offered Alice his hand. She watched him a little anxiously as she took it. If he smiled much more, the ends of his mouth might meet behind, she thought, and then I don't know what would happen to his head. I'm afraid it would come off. Yes, all his horses and all his men, Humpty Dumpty went on. They'd pick me up again in a minute they would. However, this conversation is getting on a little too fast. Let's go back to the last remark but one. I'm afraid I can't quite remember it, Alice said very politely. In that case we start fresh, said Humpty Dumpty, and it's my turn to choose a subject. He talks about it as if it was a game, thought Alice. So here's a question for you. How old did you say you were? Alice made a short calculation and said seven years and six months? Wrong, Humpty Dumpty exclaimed triumphantly. You never said a word like it. I thought you meant to ask how old are you? Alice explained. If I'd meant that I'd have said it, said Humpty Dumpty. Alice didn't want another argument, so she said nothing. Seven years and six months, Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. An uncomfortable sort of age. Now if you'd asked my advice, I'd have said leave off at seven, but it's too late now. I never ask advice about growing, Alice said indignantly. Too proud? The other inquired. Alice felt even more indignant at this question. I mean, she said, that one can't help growing older. One can't, perhaps, said Humpty Dumpty, but two can. With proper assistance you might have left off at seven. What a beautiful belt you've got on, Alice suddenly remarked. They had had quite enough of the subject of age, she thought, and if they really were to take turns in choosing subjects, it was her turn now. At least she corrected herself on second thoughts. A beautiful cravat, I should have said No, a belt. I mean I beg your pardon, she added in dismay, for Humpty Dumpty looked thoroughly offended, and she began to wish she hadn't chosen that subject. If only I knew, she thought to herself, which was neck and which was waist. Evidently, Humpty Dumpty was very angry, though he said nothing for a minute or two. When he did speak again it was in a deep growl. It is a most provoking thing, he said at last, when a person doesn't know a cravat from a belt. I know, it's very ignorant of me, Alice said in so humble a tone that Humpty Dumpty relented. It's a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you say. It's a present from the white king and queen. There now. Is it really? said Alice, quite pleased to find that she had chosen a good subject after all. They gave it to me, Humpty Dumpty continued thoughtfully as he crossed one knee over the other and clasped his hands around it. They gave it to me for an unbirthday present. I beg your pardon, Alice said with a puzzled air. I'm not offended, said Humpty Dumpty. I mean what is an unbirthday present? A present given when it isn't your birthday, of course. Alice considered a little. I like birthday presents best, she said at last. You don't know what you're talking about, cried Humpty Dumpty. How many days are there in a year? Three hundred and sixty five, said Alice. And how many birthdays have you? One and if you take one from three hundred and sixty five, what remains? Three hundred and sixty four, of course. Humpty Dumpty looked doubtful. I'd rather see that done on paper, he said. Alice couldn't help smiling as she took out her memorandum book and worked the sum for him. three hundred sixty five minus one equals three hundred and sixty four. Humpty Dumpty took the book and looked at it carefully. That seems to be done right, he began. You're holding it upside down, Alice interrupted. To be sure I was, Humpty Dumpty said happily as she turned it around for him. I thought it looked a little strange as I was saying, that seems to be done right, though I haven't had time to look it over thoroughly just now. And that shows that there are three hundred and sixty four days when you might get unbirthday presents. Certainly, said Alice. And only one for birthday presents, you know. There's glory for you. I don't know what you mean by glory, Alice said. Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. Of course you don't. What I meant was there's a nice knockdown argument for you. Glory doesn't mean nice knockdown argument, Alice objected. When I use a word, Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more or less. The question is, said Alice, whether you can make words mean so many different things. The question is, said Humpty Dumpty, which is to be the master, that's all. Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute, Humpty Dumpty began again. They've a temper, some of 'em, particularly the verbs. They're the proudest. Adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs. However, I can manage the whole lot of them. Impenetrability, that's what I say. Would you tell me, please? said Alice, what that means. Now you talk like a reasonable child, said Humpty Dumpty, looking very much pleased. I meant by impenetrability that we've had enough of that subject, and it would be just as well if you'd mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you don't mean to stop here the rest of your life. That's a great deal to make one word mean, Alice said in a thoughtful tone. When I make a word do a lot of work like that, said Humpty Dumpty, I always pay it extra. Oh, said Alice. She was too much puzzled to make any other remark. You should see 'em come around me on a Saturday night, Humpty Dumpty went on, wagging his head gravely from side to side, to get their wages, you know. And Alice didn't venture to ask what he paid them with, and so you see, I can't tell you. You seem very clever at explaining words, sir, said Alice. Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called Jabberwocky? Let's hear it, said Humpty Dumpty. I can explain all the poems that were ever invented, and a good many that haven't been invented just yet. This sounded very hopeful, so Alice repeated the first verse. 'Twas Brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimbal in the wabe. All mimsy were the Boragoves, and the Momrath's outgrabe. That's enough to begin with, Humpty Dumpty interrupted. There are plenty of hard words there. Brillig means four o'clock in the afternoon, the time when you begin broiling things for dinner. Oh, that'll do very well, said Alice. And Slythy? Well, Slythy means lithe and slimy. Lithe is the same as active, so you see it's like a portmanteau. There are two meanings packed up into one word. Oh, I see it now, Alice remarked thoughtfully. And what are toves? Well, toves are something like badgers, they're something like lizards, and they're something like corkscrews. They must be very curious looking creatures. They are at that, said Humpty Dumpty. They also make their nests under sundials and live on cheese. And what's the gyre and to gimbal? To gyre is to go around and round like a gyroscope, and to gimbal is to make holes like a gimlet. And the wabe is the grass plot around the sundial, I suppose, said Alice, surprised at her own ingenuity. Of course it is. It's called Wabe, you know, because it goes a long way before it and a long way behind it. And a long way beyond it on each side, Alice added. Exactly so. Well then Mimsy is flimsy and miserable. There's another portmanteau for you, and a boar grove is a thin, shabby looking bird with its feathers sticking out all around, something like a live mop. And then Moamwraths, said Alice. I'm afraid I'm giving you a great deal of trouble. Well, wrath is a sort of green pig, but Moam I'm not certain about. I think it's short for from home, meaning they'd lost their way, you know. And what does outgrabe mean? Well, outgrabing is something between bellowing and whistling with a kind of sneeze in the middle. However, you'll hear it done maybe down in the wood yonder, and when you've once heard it, you'll be quite content. Who's been repeating all this hard stuff to you anyway? I read it in a book, said Alice, but I had some poetry repeated to me much easier than that by Tweedle D, I think it was. As poetry, you know, said Humpty Dumpty, stretching out one of his great hands. I can repeat poetry as well as other folk if it comes to that. Oh, it needn't come to that, Alice hastily said, hoping to keep him from beginning. The piece I'm going to repeat, he went on without noticing her remark, is written entirely for your amusement. Alice felt that in that case she really ought to listen to it, so she sat down and said thank you, rather sadly. In winter when the fields are white, I sing the song for your delight. Only I don't sing it, he added as an explanation. I see you don't, said Alice. If you can see whether I'm singing or not, you have sharper eyes than most, Humpty Dumpty remarked severely. Alice was silent. In spring when woods are getting green, I'll try and tell you what I mean. Thank you very much, said Alice. In summer when the days are long, perhaps you'll understand the song. In autumn when the leaves are brown, take pen and ink and write it down. I will if I can remember it that long, said Alice. You needn't go on remarking things like that, Humpty Dumpty said. They're not sensible, and they put me out. He started again. I sent a message to the fish, I told them. This is what I wish. The little fishes of the sea, they sent an answer back to me. The fish's answer was we cannot do it, sir, because I'm afraid I don't quite understand, said Alice. It gets easier further on, Humpty Dumpty replied. I sent to them again to say it will be better to obey. The fishes answered with a grin. Why what a temper you are in. I told them once I told them twice they would not listen to advice. I took them. A kettle large and new, fit for the deed I had to do. My heart went hot, my heart went thump. I filled the kettle at the pump, and then someone came to me and said The little fishes are in bed. I said to him, I said it plain, then you must wake them up again. I said it very loud and clear. I went and shouted in his ear. Humpty Dumpty raised his voice almost to a scream as he repeated this verse, and Alice thought with a shudder I wouldn't have been the messenger for anything. But he was very stiff and proud. He said you needn't shout so loud, and he was very proud and stiff. He said I'd go down and wake them if I took a corkscrew from the shelf. I went to wake them up myself, and when I found the door was locked, I pulled and pushed and kicked and knocked. And when I found the door was shut, I tried to turn the handle, but there was a long pause. Is that all? Alice timidly asked. That's all, said Humpty Dumpty. Goodbye. This was rather sudden, Alice thought, but after a very strong hint that she ought to be going, she felt it would be hardly civil to stay, so she got up and held out her hand. Goodbye, till we meet again, she said as cheerfully as she could. I shouldn't know you again if we did meet, Humpty Dumpty replied in a discontented tone, giving her one of his fingers to shake. You're so exactly like other people. The face is what one goes by, generally, Alice remarked in a thoughtful tone. That's just what I complain of, said Humpty Dumpty. Your face is the same as everybody has. Two eyes, so marking their places in the air with his thumb. A nose in the middle, a mouth under. It's always the same. Now if you had the two eyes on the same side of the nose, for instance, or the mouth at the top, that would be some help. That wouldn't look nice, Alice objected, but Humpty Dumpty only shut his eyes and said, wait till you've tried. Alice waited a minute to see if he would speak again, but as he never opened his eyes or took any further notice of her, she said goodbye once more, and getting no answer to this, she quietly walked away, but she couldn't help saying to herself as she went, Of all the unsatisfactory she repeated this aloud, as it was a great comfort to have such a long word to say. Of all the unsatisfactory people I ever met. She never finished the sentence, for at this moment a heavy crash shook the forest from end to end. Oh that Humpty Dumpty. What a character. Such a strange guy. Oh my goodness. I hope you've had fun tonight. And oh my gosh, Emmy got kicked out again. She was going crazy. I don't know if you noticed when all the noise stopped. But Baxter has been with us and he's been sitting on my knee and not causing any trouble. So, a lot less damage going on. It's always a fun time with these guys. They're crazy. Okay, well I will catch you on Tuesday for our regular mishmash ramble chat of goodness. And until then, sleep tight, good night, and bye bye.