S3 E41 Inventions, Knights, and Alice Oh My! In Chapter 8 of Through the Looking Glass

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Good evening and welcome to the Comforting Voice Podcast. I'm your host Shasta Ray, and I'm joined in the studio by Emmy the Minimcaw. She's having a snack, and I've got her toy box sitting here, so you'll probably hear some crunching and well, bird noises. You know how that is. Okay, how are you? How has your week been? Oh my gosh, I bet you've had a long week. Everyone has had a long week. There's lots and lots of stuff going on this time of year, and then your normal day-to-day stuff on top of that. Wow, it's a busy time of year. Plus the temperatures are crazy hot out, so it makes you tired. So let's get you all situated, ready to relax, and enjoy a very special presentation tonight. This chapter is a little bit longer than normal. We're gonna have some fun tonight. So as soon as you have everything you need at your fingertips, a beverage of choice, extra pair of socks, extra pillow, maybe you've got a fan on in the room to circulate air a little bit, whatever you need, get that where you need it, and get your listening device set at that perfect volume so you don't have to fidget with it later. And when you're ready, kick back, settle in, engage in a very productive stretch, really engage those muscles, reach through your arms and legs, into your hands, feet, and then your fingers and toes. Really stretch everything, and then right before you release that stretch, wiggle your fingers and toes really good, and then let go of that stretch. And oh my gosh, the relaxation just kicks in immediately, and you're off to an excellent start for some relaxation and sleep. But wait, there's more. After you stretch, take a really good, productive, deep breath of air. We're gonna inhale to about the count of four, hold it to about the count of three, take another quick little inhale to top that off, hold it for another count of one or two, and then slowly exhale to about the count of six or eight if you can manage to exhale that slowly. And between the stretch and the deep breath of air, it helps offload a ton of stress, a ton of today's toxicity that might still be kind of stuck to you, and it just really does a good reset in the moment to set you up for some amazing rest, relaxation, deep sleep, whatever applies. Or, hey, use that technique in the moment when you're having a stressful day, when you feel a moment during the day when maybe anxiety is starting to kick in, or uh nervousness, anything like that, anger, go through that quick stretch and a deep breath of air in that little breathing style, and it is one of the best tools at your disposal just to help get you back on track in the moment. Give it a whirl. The trick is letting it work, just let it do its job and then just ease on into the next moment of your day. You're gonna be feeling a lot better about things and more in control. And before we get started on tonight's chapter, I want to remind everyone go check out the website comfortingvoice.com. All of the episodes can be heard there. I've got some little tools under the episodes tab that'll give you different options. If you want to listen to just one of our books that we've read, I've got all those episodes kind of categorized, makes it a little bit easier. I've got the listener-based top 10 favorites, and you can support the show over there. Check out my coloring books, all of those purchases go to support the show. I have some of the best relaxation tools in coloring book format there, and they have left-hand editions in many cases. I have some that are repeating patterns where the pages just don't have orientation, so you can just turn the book 180 degrees and boom, it's a left-handed edition built right in. Large print, bold and easy. It's about just kind of coloring, filling in space, letting your mind drift. It's a disassociative method of meditation or relaxation. And I'm about ready to release a whole new fleet of coloring books coming up soon. I've been working on images, I've been organizing, and probably in the next several days to a week I'll be starting to assemble those. So that's in progress. That's a lot of fun. Oh my gosh. While you're surfing around on the website, grab yourself some Thrive gear. Oh my gosh, we've got the 20-ounce bladder buster mug there. We've got the podcast mug, and the podcast mug has a little QR code. You can scan it, and there you go. You can listen in anytime you want. Boom. So no matter when you hear this, go check out the website. I'm gonna keep changing stuff and adding more to the shop as things go, and uh yeah, we'll see how things transpire over time. I want to be creative with the website as well. Okie dokie, are we ready for tonight's bedtime story? This is a good long one. We are currently reading Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. Tonight we are reading chapter eight titled It's My Own Invention. After a while the noise seemed gradually to die away till all was dead silence, and Alice lifted up her head in some alarm. There was no one left to be seen, and her first thought was that she must have been dreaming about the lion and the unicorn and those strange Anglo Saxon messengers. However, there was the great dish still lying at her feet on which she had tried to cut the plum cake. So I wasn't dreaming after all, she said to herself, unless we're all part of the same dream. Only I do hope it's my dream and not the Red King's. I don't like belonging to another person's dream. She went on in a rather complaining tone. I've had a great mind to go and wake him and see what happens. At this moment her thoughts were interrupted by a loud shouting of Ahoy Ahoy Check and a knight dressed in crimson armor came galloping down upon her, brandishing a great club. Just as he reached her, the horse stopped suddenly. You're my prisoner, the knight cried as he tumbled off his horse. Startled as she was, Alice was more frightened for him than for herself at the moment, and watched him with some anxiety as he mounted again. As soon as he was comfortably in the saddle, he began once more You're my but here another voice broke in Ahoy, ahoy, check. And Alice looked around in some surprise for the new enemy. This time it was a white knight. He drew up at Alice's side and tumbled off his horse just as the red knight had done. Then he got on again, and the two knights sat and looked at each other for some time without speaking. Alice looked from one to the other in some bewilderment. She's my prisoner, you know, the red knight said at last. Yes, but then I came and rescued her, the white knight replied. Well we must fight for her then, said the red knight, as he took up his helmet, which hung from the saddle, and was something the shape of a horse's head, and put it on. You will observe the rules of battle, of course, the white knight remarked, putting on his helmet also. I always do, said the red knight, and they began banging away at each other with such a fury that Alice got behind a tree to be out of the way of the blows. I wonder what the rules of battle are, she said to herself as she watched the fight, timidly peeping out from her hiding place. One rule seems to be that if one knight hits the other, he knocks him off his horse, and if he misses, he tumbles off himself. Another rule seems to be that they hold their clubs with their arms as if they were punching Judy. Oh, what a noise they make when they tumble, just like a whole set of fire irons falling into a fender. And how quiet the horses are, they let them get on and off of them just as if they were tables. Another rule of battle that Alice had noticed, seemed to be that they always fell on their heads, and the battle ended with their both falling off in this way side by side. When they got up again they shook hands, and then the red knight mounted and galloped off. It was a glorious victory, wasn't it? said the white knight, as he came up panting. I don't know, Alice said doubtfully. I don't want to be anybody's prisoner, I want to be a queen. So you will, when you've crossed the next brook, said the white knight. I'll see you safe to the end of the wood, and then I must go back, you know. It's the end of my move. Oh, thank you very much, said Alice. May I help you off with your helmet? It was evidently more than he could manage by himself. However, she managed to shake him out of it. Now one can breathe more easily, said the knight, putting back his shaggy hair with both hands, and turning his gentle face and large mild eyes to Alice. She thought she had never seen such a strange looking soldier in all her life. He was dressed in tin armor which seemed to fit him very badly, and he had a strange shaped little box fastened across his shoulder upside down with the lid hanging open. Alice looked at it with great curiosity. I see you're admiring my little box, the knight said in a friendly tone. It's my own invention, to keep clothes and sandwiches in. You see, I carry it upside down so that the rain can't get in. But the things inside can get out, Alice gently remarked. Do you know the lids open? I didn't know that, the knight said, a shade of vexation passing over his face. Then all the things must have fallen out, and the box is no use without them. He fastened it as he spoke, and was just going to throw it into the bushes when a sudden thought seemed to strike him, and he hung it carefully on a tree. Can you guess why I did that? he said to Alice. Alice shook her head. In my hope some bees may make a nest in it, then I should get the honey. But you've got a beehive or something like one fastened to the saddle. Oh yes, it's a very good beehive, the knight said in a discontented tone. It's the best kind, but not a single bee has come near it yet, and the other thing is a mouse trap. I suppose the mice keep the bees out, or the bees keep the mice out, I don't know which. I was wondering what the mouse trap was for, said Alice. It isn't very likely there would be any mice on the horse's back. Not very likely, perhaps, said the knight, but if they do come, I don't want them running all about. You see, he went on after a pause, it's as well to be prepared for everything. That's the reason the horse has all those anklets around his feet. But what are they for? Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity. To guard against the bites of sharks, the knight replied. It's an invention of my own. And now help me up. I'll go with you to the end of the wood. What what's the dish for? Um it's meant for plum cake, said Alice. We'd better take it with us, the knight said. It'll come in handy if we find any plum cake. Help me get it into this bag. This took a very long time to manage, even though Alice held the bag open very carefully, because the knight was so very awkward in putting in the dish. The first two or three times that he tried he fell in himself instead. It's a rather tight fit, you see, he said as they finally got it into the bag at last. There are so many candlesticks in the bag. And he hung it to the saddle, which was already loaded with bunches of carrots and fire irons, and many other things. I hope you've got your hair fastened on, he continued as they set off. Only in the usual way, Alice said, smiling. That's hardly enough, he said anxiously. You see, the wind is so very strong here. It's as strong as soup. Have you invented a plan for keeping the hair from being blown off? Alice inquired. Not yet, said the knight. But I've got a plan for keeping it from falling off. I should like to hear it very much. First you take an upright stick, said the knight. Then you make your hair creep up it like fruit tree. Now, the reason hair falls off is because it hangs down. Things never fall upwards, you know. It's a plan of my own invention. You could try it if you like. It didn't sound like a very comfortable plan, Alice thought, and for a few minutes she walked on in silence, puzzling over the idea, and every now and then stopping to help the poor knight, who certainly was not a good rider. Whenever the horse stopped, which it did very often, he fell off in front, and whenever it went on again, which it generally did rather suddenly, he fell off behind. Otherwise he kept on pretty well, except that he had a habit of now and then falling off sideways, and as he generally did this on the side which Alice was walking, she soon found that it was the best plan to not walk very close to the horse. I'm afraid you've not had much practice in riding, she ventured to say, as she was helping him up from his fifth tumble. The knight looked very much surprised and a little offended at the remark. What makes you say that? he asked, as he scrambled back into the saddle, keeping a hold of Alice's hair with one hand, and to save himself from falling over with the other. Because people don't fall off quite so often when they've had much practice. I've had plenty of practice, the knight said very gravely. Plenty of practice. Alice could think of nothing better to say than indeed, but she said it as heartily as she could. They went on a little way in silence after this, the knight with his eyes shut, muttering to himself, and Alice watching anxiously for the next time he fell. The great art of riding, the knight suddenly began in a loud voice, waving his right arm as he spoke, is to keep here the sentence ended as suddenly as it had begun, and the knight fell heavily on top of his head exactly in the path where Alice was walking. She was quite frightened this time, and said in an anxious tone, as she picked him up, I hope no bones were broken. None to speak of, the knight said, as if he didn't mind breaking two or three of them. The great art of riding, as I was saying, is to keep your balance properly. Like this. He let go of the bridle and stretched out both arms to show Alice what he meant, and this time he fell flat on his back right under the horse's feet. Plenty of practice, he went on repeating, all the time that Alice was getting him on his feet again. Plenty of practice. That's too ridiculous, cried Alice, losing all her patience this time. You ought to have a wooden horse on wheels. Does that kind go smoothly? The knight asked in a tone of great interest, clasping his arms around the horse's neck as he spoke, just in time to save himself from falling off again. Much more smoothly than a live horse, Alice said, with a little scream of laughter, in spite all she could do to prevent it. I'll get one, the knight said thoughtfully to himself. One or two, several. There was a short silence after this, and then the knight went on again. I'm a great hand at inventing things. Now I dare say you noticed that the last time you picked me up that I was looking rather thoughtful. Uh you were a little grave, said Alice. Well, just then I was inventing a new way of getting over a gate. Would you like to hear it? Very much, Alice said politely. I'll tell you how I came to think of it, said the knight. You see, I said to myself the difficulty is with the feet. The head is high enough already. Now, first I put my head on top of the gate, then I stand on my head. Then the feet are high enough, you see, then I'm over. Yes, I suppose you'd be over when that was done, Alice said thoughtfully. But don't you think it would be rather hard? I haven't tried it yet, the knight said gravely, so I can't tell for certain, but I'm afraid it would be a little difficult. He looked so vexed at the idea that Alice changed the subject hastily. What a curious helmet you've got, she said cheerfully. Is that your invention too? The knight looked down proudly at his helmet, which hung from the saddle. Yes, he said, but I've invented a better one than that, like a sugar loaf. When I used to wear it, if I fell off the horse, it always touched the ground directly. So I had very little way to fall, you see. But there was a danger of falling into it for sure. That happened to me once, and the worst of it was before I could get out again, the other white knight came and put it on. He thought it was his own helmet. The knight looked so solemn about it that Alice did not dare to laugh. I'm afraid you must have hurt him, she said in a trembling voice, being on the top of his head. I had to kick him, of course, the knight said very seriously. And then he took the helmet off, but it took hours and hours to get me out. I was as fast as lightning, you know. But that's a different kind of fast, Alice objected. The knight shook his head. It was all kinds of fastness with me, I can assure you, he said. He raised his hands in some excitement as he said this, and instantly rolled out of the saddle, and fell headlong into a deep ditch. Alice ran to the side of the ditch to look for him. She was rather startled by the fall, as for some time he had kept on very well, and she was afraid that he really was hurt this time. However, though she could see nothing but the soles of his feet, she was much relieved to hear that he was talking in his usual tone. All kinds of fastness, he repeated, but it was careless of him to put another man's helmet on with the man still in it. How can you go on talking so quietly head down? Alice asked him as she dragged him out by the feet and laid him into a heap on the bank. The knight looked surprised at the question. What does it matter where my body happens to be? he said. My mind goes on working all the time. In fact, the more head downwards I am, the more I keep inventing new things. Now, the cleverest thing of the sort that I ever did, he went on after a pause, was inventing a new pudding during a meat course. In time to have it cooked for the next course? asked Alice. Well, not the next course, the knight said in a slow thoughtful tone. No, certainly not the next course. Then it would have to be the next day. I suppose you wouldn't have two pudding courses in one dinner. Well, not the next day, the knight repeated as before. Not the next day. In fact, he went on, holding his head down and his voice getting a little lower and lower. I don't believe that pudding ever was cooked. In fact, I don't believe that pudding ever will be cooked, and yet it was a very clever pudding to invent. What did you mean it to be made of? Alice asked, hoping to cheer him up, for the poor knight seemed quite low spirited about it. It began with blotting paper, the knight answered with a groan. That wouldn't be very nice. Not very nice alone, he interrupted quite eagerly, but you've no idea what a difference it makes mixing it with other things, such as gunpowder and sealing wax, and oh, here I must leave you. And they had just come to the end of the wood. Alice could only look puzzled. She was thinking of the pudding. You're sad, the knight said in an anxious tone. Let me sing you a song to comfort you. Is it very long? Alice asked, for she had heard a good deal of poetry that day. It's long, said the knight, but very, very beautiful. Everybody hears me sing it. Either it brings tears to their eyes or else. Or else what? said Alice, for the knight had made a sudden pause. Or else it doesn't, you know. The name of the song is called Haddock's Eyes. Oh, that's the name of the song, is it? Alice said, trying to seem interested. No, you don't understand, the knight said, looking a little vexed. That's what the name is called. The name really is. really is the aged aged man. Then I ought to have said that's what the song is called, Alice corrected herself. No, that's quite another thing. The song is called Ways and Means, but that's only what it's called, you know. Well what is the song then? said Alice, who was by this time completely bewildered. I was coming to that, the knight said. The song really is a sitting on a gate, and the tune is by my own invention. In saying so he stopped his horse and let the reins fall on its neck, then slowly beating the time with one hand, and with a faint smile lighting up his gentle foolish face as if he enjoyed the music of his own song, he began Of all of the strange things that Alice saw in her journey through the looking glass, this was the one that she always remembered the most clearly. Years afterwards she would bring the whole scene back again as if it had only been yesterday. The mild blue eyes and the kindly smile of the night, the setting of the sun gleaming through his hair, and the shining on his armor in a blaze of light that quite dazzled her, the horse gently moving about with the reins hanging loose on his neck, cropping the grass at her feet, and the black shadows of the forest behind, all this she took in like a picture, as with one hand shading her eyes, she leaned against a tree, watching the strange pear and listening in a half dream, to the melancholy music of the song. But the tune isn't his own invention, she said to herself it's I give thee all I can no more. She stood and listened very attentively, but no tears came to her eyes, and these are the words of the song I tell thee everything I can there's little to relate I saw an aged aged man sitting on a gate. Who are you aged man? I said and how is it you live? And his answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve He said I look for butterflies that sleep among the wheat I make them into mutton pies and sell them on the street. I sell them unto men, he said, who sail on stormy seas, and that's the way I get my bread a trifle if you please but I was thinking of a plan to dye one's whiskers green and always use so large a fan that they could not be seen so having no reply to give to what the old man said, I cried Come, tell me how you live and thumped him on the head. His accents mild took up the tail he said I go my own ways and when I find a mountain rill I set it in ablaze and thence they make a stuff they call Roland's mascar oil yet two pence half penny is all they give me for my toil but I was thinking of a way to feed oneself on batter and to go on from day to day getting a little fatter. I shook him well from side to side until his face was blue Come, tell me how you live, I cried, and what it is you do he said I hunt for Haddock's eyes among the heather bright, and work them into waistcoat buttons in the silent night and these I do not sell for gold or coin of silvery shine, but for a copper half penny, and that will purchase nine I sometimes dig for buttered rolls, or set limed twigs for crabs, I sometimes search the grassy knolls for wheels of handsome cabs. And that's the way he gave a wink, by which I get my wealth, and very gladly will I drink your honor's noble health I heard him then for I just completed my design, to keep the Mani bridge from rest by boiling it in wine I thanked him much for telling me the way he got his wealth, but chiefly for his wish that he might drink my noble health, and now if ever by chance I put my fingers into glue or madly squeeze a right hand foot into a left hand shoe, or if I drop upon my toe a very heavy weight, I weep for it reminds me so of that old man I used to know, whose look was mild, whose speech was slow, whose hair was whiter than the snow, whose face was very like a crow, with eyes like cinders all aglow, who seemed distracted with his woe, who rocked his body to and fro, and muttered mumblingly and low, as if his mouth were full of doe, who snorted like a buffalo that summer evening long ago a sitting on a gate. As the knight sang the last words of the ballad, he gathered up the reins and turned his horse's head along the road by which they had come. You've only got a few yards to go, he said, down the hill and over that little brook, then you'll be a queen. But you'll stay and see me off first, he added as Alice turned on with an eager look in the direction which he pointed. I shouldn't be long you'll wait and wave your handkerchief when I get to that turn in the road. I think it'll encourage me, you see. Oh, of course I'll wait, said Alice, and thank you very much for coming so far, and for the song. I liked it very much. I hope so, the knight said doubtfully. You didn't cry as much as I thought you would. So they shook hands, and then the knight rode slowly away into the forest. It won't take long to see him off, I expect, Alice said to herself as she stood watching him. There he goes, right on his head as usual. However, he gets on again pretty easily. That comes from having so many things hung around the horse, so she went on talking to herself as she watched the horse walking leisurely along the road and the night tumbling off, first on one side then the other. After the fourth or fifth fall he reached the turn, and then she waved her handkerchief to him and waited until he was out of sight. I hope it encouraged him, she said as she turned to run down the hill. And now for the last brook and to be a queen how grand it sounds a very few steps brought her to the edge of the brook. The eighth square at last she cried as she bounded across, and threw herself down to rest on a lawn as soft as moss, with little flower beds dotted about here and there. Oh how glad I am to get here and what is this on my head? she exclaimed in a tone of dismay as she put her hands up to something very heavy and fitted tight all around her head. But how can it have got there without my knowing it? she said to herself as she lifted it off and set it on her lap to make out what it could possibly be. It was a golden crown Oh my goodness oh that ended in a fun way how how amazing Wow what a long chapter that was a fun one. Are you even awake yet? That should have put you to sleep I would think but maybe there's a few of you out there enjoying this story as much as I am and you've stuck with me this whole time and next week we'll be taking on chapter nine you don't want to miss it. So I think I'll get to work on editing this so I can get it published and in your eardrums and until Tuesday for our Mishmash Ramble Chat of Goodness sleep tight, good night and bye bye