S3 E43 Alice is Queen in Chapter 9 Through the Looking Glass

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Good evening and welcome to the Comforting Voice podcast. I'm your host, Shasta Ray, and I'm joined in the studio by Emmy by Emmy the Minnie Macaw. And she's just sitting here being cute. She has snacks and stuff and just wanted to hang out with me. She's been talking now. She's just been sitting here for a while, just hanging out with me. So she's just she knows what electronic equipment is, I think. I'm gonna see if I can psych her out right now with the telephone because she'll she'll mimic talking on the phone. She knows what a phone is and she knows how to speak to it, and it's really cute. What's this? They are smart little birds. And the reason we're saying hello in such strong format tonight is because we're gonna do a very brief drive-by join the fun. I have a very special join the fun quick micro segment tonight. One of my Birdseed Etsy store customers has started listening to the podcast and left a wonderful hello message on the podcast website. And um, so welcome. I'm not really sure which customer you are. I have a few in your area. It showed your state when you left your message. But thank you so much. And obviously, Emmy the Mini Macaw says hi. Usually she's supervising me when I'm packing orders. So it's always an interesting time when you have a pickled chicken, I tell you. She gets actually very amped up when I'm taping boxes. I don't know what it is about the tape dispenser that really amps her. It just really um makes her aggressive. She goes nuts. I have to put her on a perch sometimes. Many macaws are quite the little weird animals. I tell you what. You never have a dull moment. Okay. Greetings out of the way, join the fun out of the way. Let's all kick back and relax. It has been one oh my gosh week. I don't know about you guys. Have any of you guys out there had a big long holy cow, oh my gosh, kind of week? And you're just here at Friday going, What the heck happened? Like, that that's me. That's me. And I've had probably every day level of that that's escalated to us hanging out here and this being just a sanctuary for me. And we're gonna hang out with Alice too. Oh my gosh, this is gonna be so much fun. What a great Friday night for me. I hope it's as great for you. Let's all kick back and do the stretch and the deep breath of air together. That's a really good fun group activity from afar. You can do it whenever you want, and it's still correct. Okay. So once you get into that perfect, sweet spot, comfortable position, and you've got your pillow all squished up into the perfect shape, engage in a really good, productive stretch. We're gonna get rid of all of that Monday through Friday holy cow week, right? We're just gonna get all that toxicity off of us, all that funk. Reach through your arms, your legs, hold them up straight out, whatever you need to do that's best for you. Reach your fingers all the way out, same with your toes, flex your feet, and then wiggle your fingers and toes really good. Try not to bite the hand that feeds you. Emmy just bit me. And release that stretch. Oh my gosh, let that relaxation kick in. You just erased the funk. Oh gosh, that was wonderful. And now take a really good deep breath of air. You know the gig. Inhale to about the count of four, hold it to about the count of three, top it off really quick with another little inhale, hold it for another count or two, and then try to exhale to about the count of eight. If you can, six is great if you can't do eight. And now you have completed your sleep prep. Oh my gosh, you're ready to take on the weekend. And before you know it, you're gonna wake up, it's gonna be tomorrow. You won't know what happened, you're gonna be confused what Alice did tonight. It's a beautiful thing. Okay, what's next on the agenda? What do we got to tell them before they fall asleep? Don't forget to check out the website, people, comfortingvoice.com. And this week's Friday night challenge, we've never had one, but let's do a Friday night challenge. Share the website, share the podcast. If you've got friends, if you've got coworkers, if you've got Facebook groups that you post in or social media, and people are asking for a podcast that's non-stressful, and we fit the bill here, tell them to join the fun. Comfortingvoice.com, that's the easiest way. You can listen to all the episodes there. The coloring book empire is there, and even the birdseed link is there. You've got everything going on, you can't go wrong. There you go, comfortingvoice.com. Okie dokie. So we're gonna read part of chapter nine tonight. We are nearing the very end of the book, and chapter 10, 11, and 12 are very, very short. So I'm gonna read the first part of chapter nine tonight. It's gonna be your teaser for the grand finale next week, and then the week after that, we're gonna start a new book. And I haven't decided, I'm I'm down to about three, I'm trying to toggle between. And I guess we're gonna find out in two weeks what we're reading. So don't forget, next week is the grand finale. It'll be a little bit longer of an episode, so you can look forward to that. And so as you know, we are reading Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. Tonight we're reading the first part of chapter nine titled Queen Alice. Well this is grand, said Alice. I never expected I should be a queen so soon. And I'll tell you what it is, your Majesty, she went on in a severe tone. She was always rather fond of scolding herself. It'll never do for you to be lolling about in the grass like that. Queens have to be dignified, you know. So she got up and walked about, rather stiffly at first, as she was afraid that the crown might come off, but she comforted herself with the thought there was nobody to see her. And if I really am a queen, she said as she sat down again, I should be able to manage it quite well in no time. Everything was happening so oddly that she didn't feel a bit surprised at finding the Red Queen and the White Queen sitting close to her, one on each side. She would have liked very much to ask them how they came there, but she feared it would not be quite civil. However, there would be no harm, she thought, in asking if the game was over. Please, if you would tell me, she began looking timidly at the Red Queen. Speak when you're spoken to, the Queen sharply interrupted her. But if everybody obeyed that rule, said Alice, who was always quite ready for a little argument, and if you only spoke when you were spoken to, and the other person always waited for you to begin, you see nobody would ever say anything, so that ridiculous cried the Queen. Why, you don't see, child. Here she broke off with a frown, and, after thinking for a minute, suddenly changed the subject of the conversation. What do you mean by if you really were a queen? What right have you to call yourself so? You can't be a queen, you know, till you've passed the proper examination. And the sooner we begin it, the better. I only said if, poor Alice pleaded in a piteous tone. The two queens looked at each other, and the Red Queen remarked, with a little shudder. She says she only said if But she said a great deal more than that, the white queen moaned, wringing her hands. Oh ever so much more than that. So you did, you know, the Red Queen said to Alice. Always speak the truth and think before you speak and write it down afterwards. I'm sure I didn't mean Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen interrupted her impatiently. That's just what I complain of. You should have meant. What do you suppose is the use of child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning, and a child's more important than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that even if you tried with both hands. I don't deny anything with my hands, Alice objected. Nobody said you did, said the Red Queen. I said you couldn't if you tried. She's in that state of mind, said the White Queen, that she wants to deny something, only she doesn't know what to deny. A nasty vicious temper, the Red Queen remarked, and then there was an uncomfortable silence for a minute or two. The Red Queen broke the silence by saying to the White Queen, I invite you to Alice's dinner party this afternoon. The White Queen smiled feebly and said, And I invite you. I didn't know I was to have a party at all, said Alice. But if there is to be one, I think I ought to invite the guests. We gave you the opportunity of doing it, the Red Queen remarked, but I dare say you've not had many lessons in manners yet. Um manners are not taught in lessons, said Alice. Lessons teach you to do sums and things of that sort. And you do addition? The white queen asked. What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one. Um I don't know, said Alice. I lost count. She can't do addition, the Red Queen interrupted. Can you do subtraction? Take nine from eight. Um nine from eight I can't, you know, Alice replied very readily. She can't do subtraction, said the white queen. Can you do division? Divide a loaf by a knife, what's the answer to that? I suppose, Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen answered for her. Bread and butter, of course. Try another subtraction sum. Take a bone from a dog, what remains? Alice considered. The bone wouldn't remain, of course, if I took it, and the dog wouldn't remain. It would come to bite me, and I'm sure I wouldn't remain. Then you think nothing would remain? said the Red Queen. I think that's the answer. Wrong as usual, said the Red Queen. The dog's temper would remain. But I don't see how why, look here, the Red Queen cried. The dog would lose its temper, wouldn't it? Perhaps it would, Alice replied cautiously. Then if the dog went away its temper would remain, the Queen exclaimed triumphantly. Alice said as gravely as she could, they might go different ways, but she couldn't help thinking to herself, What dreadful nonsense we're talking? She can't do sums a bit, the queen said together with great emphasis. Can you do sums? Alice said, turning suddenly to the white queen, for she didn't like to be found fault with so much. The Queen gasped and shut her eyes. I can do addition if you give me time, but I can't do subtraction under any circumstances. Of course you know your ABCs, said the Red Queen. To be sure I do, said Alice. So do I, said the White Queen. We'll often say it over together, and I'll give you a secret. I can read words of one letter. Isn't that grand? However, don't be discouraged, you'll learn it in time. Here the Red Queen began again. Can you answer any useful questions? she said. How is bread made? Oh I know that, Alice cried eagerly. You take some flour. Where do you pick the flower? The White Queen asked. In a garden or in the hedges. Um well it isn't picked at all, Alice explained. It's ground. How many acres of ground? said the White Queen. You mustn't leave out so many things. Fan her head, the Red Queen anxiously interrupted. She'll be feverish after so much thinking. So they set to work and fanned her with bunches of leaves, until she had to beg them to leave off. It blew her hair about so. She's all right again, said the Red Queen. Do you know languages? What's the French for Fiddle D? Um Fiddle D's not English, Alice replied gravely. Whoever said it was, said the Red Queen. Alice thought she saw a way out of the difficulty this time. If you tell me what language fiddle dee is, I'll tell you the French for it, she exclaimed triumphantly. But the Red Queen drew herself up rather stiffly and said Queens never make bargains. I wish Queens never asked questions, Alice thought to herself. Don't let us quarrel, said the White Queen with an anxious tone. What's the cause of lightning? Um the cause of lightning, Alice said very decidedly, for she felt quite certain about this, is thunder. Oh no. She hastily corrected herself. I meant the other way. It's too late to correct it, said the Red Queen. When you've once said a thing, that fixes it, and you must take the consequences. Which reminds me, the White Queen said, looking down and nervously clasping and unclasping her hands. We had such a thunderstorm last Tuesday. I mean one of the last set of Tuesdays, you know. Alice was puzzled. In our country, she remarked, there's only one day at a time. The Red Queen said, That's a poor thin way of doing things. Now here we mostly have days and nights, two or three at a time, and sometimes in the winter we take as many as five nights together, for warmth, you know. Are five nights warmer than one night then? Alice ventured to ask. Five times as warm, of course. But they should be five times as cold, by the same rule. Just so cried the Red Queen. Five times as warm and five times as cold, just as I'm five times as rich as you are and five times as clever. Alice sighed and gave it up. It's exactly like a riddle with no answer, she thought. Humpty Dumpty saw it too. The White Queen went on in a low voice, more as if she was talking to herself. He came to the door with a corkscrew in his hand. What did he want? said the Red Queen. He said he would come in, the White Queen went on, because he was looking for a hippopotamus. Now, as it happened, there wasn't such a thing in the house that morning. Um is there generally? Alice asked in an astonished tone. Well only on Thursdays, said the Queen. I know what he came for, said Alice. He wanted to punish the fish because And here we leave off to leave you in suspense for how the book ends with the second half of chapter 9, all of chapter 10, all of chapter 11, and the grand finale of chapter 12 next week, right here, same place, same time. I hope you've had fun with me tonight. I'll see you Tuesday for a regular mishmash ramble chat of goodness. And until then, sleep tight, good night, and bye bye.